Although I have written on so many personal things already but still I had been a little hesitant to write on this topic. When we (unmarried folks) talk about having a baby, people take it quite badly & we are regarded as ‘desperate.’ However, it’s very natural for a woman to feel that something so crucial is missing.
Unfortunately, I’ve seen that even women don’t seem to understand such things. Whether we say it or not, certain things are essential for a healthy life. When we don’t get them, it’s another thing that we don’t behave as an animal who is not being neutered & goes mad.
I’m sorry to say but one of my so-called friends said to me few months ago that being single is not that big a problem. When you have a boyfriend, I’m sure it’s not that big a problem. But those who are lonely know what it means. There’s a time for everything. You don’t get pregnant at the age of 60. In fact when you do at 40 or something, your kid might have some problem & that is indeed a very big risk.
Right now I’m in my 30s. I don’t know how a woman in her 40s feels about this, but it won’t be how someone feels in her late 20s or early 30s or late 30s. I had this discussion with a friend of mine who is a year younger than me & even she said that people don’t understand a thing regarding these matters. They think we are losers when we say that we want to have a baby & we don’t have a guy. To them, it’s not the end of the world & it’s not a problem, cause it’s not about their lives. And yes we are being judged by those who don’t have any clue as to what we are talking about or how we feel about it.
Well quite frankly I don’t know if people understand such issues or not. The pieces on SWOT that I have read in esteemed newspapers sounded too immature & it seemed as if those ladies were dying to get married. It’s not that we want people to pity single women & there are women in their 40s too who are lonely & still waiting or should I say fading…but they were not mentioned in those highly stupid write-ups. It seemed this is a problem of women in their 30s. What happens when you grow old? Don’t you miss the things that are unattainable or beyond your reach or you just missed out at some point? Or do women get used to it, as the society wants them to behave in a certain manner?
We also know that in our part of the world people also hide their age. The fact is…even if you’re lying, I’m sure you yourself know what’s your real age & that can’t make you feel all that good. Again I know people younger than me, but not that young claiming to be a lot more younger, & you get to know the truth cause this is a small world & when you meet their ex-classmates, you get the answer. I don’t know why people make it a point to lie about their age & these people keep on mentioning that they are 26 0r 27 almost at any opportunity. What kind of a complex is this? By telling others the wrong age, you can’t subtract years from your real age. And yeah people also don’t miss any opportunity of preaching, but when they lie, it’s alright. This is not wrong & this cannot surely be called a sin. After all, it’s not about others, so lying is okay.
Then I also feel bad for those who regard themselves aged when they are just 25. Hello! Even people in their 40s & 50s are not old. I happen to be friends with some & they are chill about it whereas in our society, people (be it young or old) make it a point to tell you that your time is up & you’re fading. I think most of the headaches are given by these people who have these rotten views that sound more like broken records. Typical people, typical ideas!
In this age conscious society, we also have concepts that a 17 year old girl ought to be married & somehow if you are in your 30s, 40s or 50s, it’s entirely your fault & people just look down on you as if it’s some sort of flaw. We live in this suffocating place & yeah if a single woman expresses the desire to become a mom…that is the most desperate thing, which is of course beyond me cause when the normal is so abnormal, how do they know what is desperate?
I think now I should talk about something that I wanted to say. The 1st time I had this feeling when my friend & I got onto the bus & we saw 4, 5 Pathan kids. One of them had hazel eyes & he was a blonde & that was the moment I realized something was missing in my life. I was just 22 at that time. I don’t remember his name as it was quite difficult, but he was 2 year old & he was one of the most cutest things I laid my eyes on, & I’m not a huge fan of kids. Actually my elder brother was a blonde & my mom has got hazel eyes…that’s why I had a feeling that I could have a son just like him.
There are lots of things that I want to say. I’m not scared of becoming vulnerable, cause now I don’t give a shit as to what idiots are thinking, because they all have similar views. This is a problem that is not considered a problem by cruel people. When a woman expresses herself, she is shameless. But we are not ashamed of a society in which rapists & other such bastards get away with every single crime against humanity. We are also not ashamed of fucking people who kill infants in this society, cause the word illegitimate is too big a thing for them & no one even comes out for these kids. I could never understand why those whores & bastards have kids they have no respect for & I don’t. What’s the good in it?
And if it’s a trial, then I guess it’s time I should start celebrating tragedies as well. Since I’m so good at celebrating, that would be a little fun.
