Happy New Year!

Dear readers:

Although I wished you all earlier on but on Christmas Eve, I came across this cute pic & I just couldn’t resist the temptation of wishing you guys again & that too on the right day.

So I wish you all a cute, colorful, & of course a very, very happy new year! Have loads of fun! :D And God bless!

PS Most importantly I wish that God protects Pakistan from the bloody Taliban & other such vicious people.

Silent Spectators

We all know that Pakistan is going through a very bad phase. We all are worried about it, as we do not know whether we can get out of this mess or not. I think Pakistan is a very unlucky country, because people haven’t been that patriotic. Had we loved our country, things would have been different. Many have left the country & the ones who could have made a difference are corrupt, besides being rotten to the core.

We often badmouth about the politicians & leaders. Where do they come from? Who gives them the vote? It seems people are not at all capable of thinking. We have educated jahils…that too is a problem, but they aren’t many. Most of the population is illiterate. However, no one seems to care about this country. We are divided right from the beginning…this is Sindhi, this is Punjabi, so on & so forth.

When I was working in the ad agency, someone asked me to teach the boy who used to bring tea. He was like…you must do this in your free time. I told him that he also knows his ABC & he could do that too in his free time rather than giving advice to me.

My friend’s father has taught 3 boys in his lifetime & he doesn’t go around asking others to do this or that. Those 3 boys were his servants & all of them have now 2 certificates, because of his hard work & dedication. Anyone can do anything on a small scale, if he/she is willing. But in our part of the world, people just love to give advice to others & do nothing themselves.

And believe me it’s very true that ordinary people can do extraordinary things. My father once passed a judgment against the government. And he was suspended. He did file a case against the government & it took him 8 years, but he won the case in the Supreme Court. He suffered for 8 years, but he kept on fighting. But we have people who can’t think of filing a suit against the government or anyone or anything that is wrong.

If you strongly believe in any cause, I’m sure there is always a way to help out. We can’t always work on a massive scale, but if one person does even 1 small thing, that would make a difference. Unfortunately, I just have the example of 2 people.

Other than myself, I have met so far 3 ladies at the clinic who are looking after more than 20 or 30 animals. They are all foreigners, not one Pakistani.Only Marina Khan is one Pakistani who genuinely loves animals. Now what I’m getting at is this…I have met innumerable people claiming to love strays, but when it comes to providing home to some stray, they all disappear. But yeah when they want to give advice, which no one asks for…they are always around. Which is why I have a rep of picking fights just like Salman Khan & Russeell Crowe.

Once I was watching this trailer in which Sunny Deol says that if someone rapes my mother, I can’t stay quiet & naturally I will fight with those bastards. This dialogue might seem too much, but what is happening here? Our country is plundered, looted & yes raped by its very own people. And what are we doing? We are silent spectators. We only preach to others. We don’t do anything ourselves. Many have abandoned this country.

I truly believe that if Jinnah had lived a little longer, this country would have been so much better. I do not believe in miracles & it requires a lot of courage to bring about a revolution. Innocent people are being killed every day & the government makes sure that the common man is burdened with the payments of bills & increasing prices of essential commodities & food that he doesn’t have the energy to think about anything else.

I just wish that 2010 turns out to be a better year for Pakistan. You know I am not ashamed of my country. I am ashamed of the people who keep mum when they see something wrong. I am ashamed of the shameless successive governments who have been stealing from the country & never taking any action that is required. I am ashamed of people who keep asking others to do a thing that must be done rather than moving their own butts. I think Pakistan deserves better people. It just hasn’t been that lucky.

"Remember that you are needed. There is at least one important work to be done that will not be done unless you do it."

-Charles L. Allen

Ben Barnes

You all know that Ben Barnes has been one of my favourites. Although I didn’t like him as such as Prince Caspian in The chronicles of Narnia, but this guy is a good actor & he has proved that in Dorian Gray. By the way, he was born in 1981 & he has studied Drama & Literature at Kingston University. Yeah I remember I did put his pics on the blog after watching the trailer. But this is what I like to do.

India's transsexuals try Internet dating

Well I read this in the morning...this is written by Adam Plowrigh.

A new site offers to help people born as men but living as women find husbands in a country where marriage remains the bedrock of society and gender and sexuality are still conservatively defined.

"Many men are attracted to transgender women, but when it comes to commitment they don't want to do it," the founder of the website, Kalki, who uses one name, explained to AFP.

"The types of grooms that our girls are looking for are men who would respect them as an equal human being, who would treat them with dignity and would introduce them to friends and family as a girlfriend or wife."

Transgenders and eunuchs -- men who have been castrated -- live on the extreme fringes of Indian society, often resorting to prostitution, begging or menial jobs that leave them mired in poverty.

Their numbers are difficult to estimate. Kalki says there are about 20,000 in her adopted state of Tamil Nadu, the most socially progressive area in the country with a total population of about 60 million.

"Because of the discrimination in India, 95 percent of transgenders live below the poverty line," says Kalki, who decided to start www.thirunangai.net after two of her transssexual friends were rejected by regular dating sites.

Poorly educated, often abused and tarred by the social stigma of their blurred gender, it is unsurprising that many in the community struggle to find the love and steady relationship they crave.

"We feel love and passion like anyone else and we want to have a family and a husband, even though we can't bear children. We'd like to adopt children," says Kalki.

The site, available in English and Tamil, features six women, most of whom have had full sex change operations and are looking for "ordinary" men for a long-term relationship and even marriage.

If you want to check out the profiles...visit this link:

http://sahodari.org/thirunangai/profiles-english.html

One of them is Sowmiya, a 23-year-old former sex worker who ran away from home aged 15 and is now a campaigner at Kalki's Sahodari Foundation, a non-government organisation that fights for the rights of transgenders.

"I put my profile on the site because I want to get married to a nice man and I want a baby," she told AFP from her home in Chennai. "I don't mind if he is not too educated, but he must be faithful to me and have a kind character."

She said she had received responses already "but I haven't accepted as the respondents were older, far older, than what I am looking for."

Another lonely heart, Deepika, writes on her profile that she is looking for a man with a decent job, a modern outlook and a good dress sense.

"Preferred age group 25-30, with a moustache," says the profile.

Kalki says she had about 200 responses from men in India, Europe, the United States and Middle East, including doctors, engineers, journalists, scientists, teachers and businessmen.

She has high hopes of selecting someone suitable for the women after a "very serious" screening process.

"Out of the six girls, if one person gets married I'll be totally happy," she adds. "The first wedding may be on Valentines Day or on Women's Day on March 8 next year."

Pleasure & Happiness

I just couldn’t help thinking about pleasure & happiness after watching Dorian Gray. Even when I read the book, I couldn’t ignore making a comparison between the 2. In another short story ‘The Happy Prince,’ Oscar Wilde has touched the same thing.

Pleasure is quite different from happiness. The 1^st question is: what is pleasure? Now pleasure could be different things for different people. It’s not just sex. You can have pleasure while shopping. You can have pleasure while taking drugs. You can have pleasure when you go beyond the boundaries. You can have pleasure doing crazy experiments on yourself. Yeah I think when it comes to pleasure, there is no limit. To my mind, pleasure is fun; pleasure is not happiness. You can acquire pleasure by doing really negative stuff. You can also acquire pleasure by working on a good cause. So if pleasure is happiness, then most of us ought to be happy humans. But are we?

The character of Dorian Gray has tasted everything in life. He knew all kinds of pleasure…a point came when he was tired. We must bear in mind that it was this character which uttered that pleasure is a different thing from happiness. That character not just knew what was pleasure, he even defined pleasure for himself that wasn’t known to others, as others were, for the most part, scared to grab what they truly desired. But nevertheless he knew that pleasure was a momentary thing.

Genuine happiness is something different. However, it’s ironic that even genuine happiness doesn’t last forever. Anyhow as I have been able to understand pleasure is more of fun .You may have enjoyed, you may have lived in the moment, but that’s about it. And I think we shouldn’t confuse pleasure with happiness.

If you ever have been genuinely happy in your life, you would know that pleasure can’t be momentary happiness, it’s pure fun…many a time, more fun than happiness.

Anyhow, I haven’t said it’s the final word or the gospel, so stay chill!

Just where are we heading?

These are bad times & one has such a bad feeling about everything.

There is bloodshed everywhere. 1000 shops have been burnt in this frenzy. Which means countless folks have been deprived of their bread & butter. When people get angry, why don’t they set fire at their own abodes? Why do they harm others? They burn petrol pumps & other peoples’ cars & buses.

All of us are sad, but all of us are not nuts. Who are these terrorist? And why the hell the government is not able to locate them? The government is never helpless. My father was a government servant & I also know other people who are big shots. And believe me these people have access to everything. It just seems that they do not care.

Yesterday when my siblings went out to buy something, they didn’t see the police anywhere…even in places where they are always seen. What does this mean? In fact the police is never around when we have riots in the city.

Just come to think of it, 1^st innocent people were being killed & then those who are being left are deprived of their livelihood. Just where are we heading?

Dorian Gray & The Sister’s Keeper

Yesterday I watched 2 movies – Dorian Gray & My Sister’s Keeper. The Picture of Dorian Gray has been one of my favourite books & I also liked My Sister’s Keeper. I expected the movies to be pathetic. But both the movies can be watched. They have made some changes, which seem annoying, but over all both the movies are fine. If you haven’t read the books, you wouldn’t notice anything as such.

In My Sister’s Keeper, the elder sister dies rather than the younger one. The character of the lawyer’s ex-girlfriend was also chopped off totally from the movie.

They also made the end of Dorian Gray dramatic. There was no need for that, but these movie people have this bad habit or maybe they just can’t do justice to the piece of Literature. Harry was no where around when Dorian dies. He wants to destroy the painting, but when he tries to destroy it, he himself dies. They discover the body of an old man the next day.

Anyhow, when I saw the movie on The Count of Monte Cristo, I was disgusted. So many characters were not in the movie. But I watched it, because of James Caviezel. Which reminds me of Ben Barnes. They have given the right face to the character of Dorian Gray. He has acted well, besides looking awesome. He is definitely the right choice.

I also watched the trailer of The Time Traveler’s Wife. Eric Bana is the one who time travels. I did enjoy reading the book & I hope that Eric Bana will not disappoint us.

The country is burning

People are being killed every day now. These god-damn suicide bombers have popped up everywhere. I do agree with people who say that terrorists have no religion. They destroy entire families by killing even one member.

And I wonder what the hell the government is doing. Why aren’t people against this government now that has done nothing so far? And even when security measures are up to the mark, these fanatics manage to blow themselves up.

Is there anything that could be done for the families who have lost their fathers, brothers & husbands? The fact is…there is nothing that can be done for such families. Losers blow themselves up & others pay the price for their madness. This is so not right. And only God knows how long this madness is going to continue.

Z & Nadz

I searched for this one just for you. And yeah I stick to that phrase even today…I’m your strange best friend :P Beyond any reasonable doubt, you are more loyal to me than I am to you. But you know it’s hard to come across a gem like me 8) And definitely I am hard to replace :P

Anyway this pic also reminds me of that coffee shop you so badly love.

My Wall and Shit

I have been reading, how N mentions Z in so many of her posts. Not that I am grateful or anything. But I believe it is but natural. It's like how can you be alive and not shit? How can you have a house without the walls? It's stuff that is there. So, I'll too write about my walls.

Now, talking about her what I want to mention here is her positive approach towards life. She is a positive person. An optimist. She never liked her name. Hope would have been her other name. But then Umeed in urdu (I am sure she wouldn't like that either). Though she does have her down phase but that goes away in no time.

Then she is like the child who forgets the ugliness very quickly. She loves to be happy and to have fun. She loves her time and wants to enjoy every bit of life in whatever way she could.

I also need to write down how, since forever, she first refuses to hear the songs or the new releases or anything new that I recommend. I tell her how big a hit this new song or this new movie is...but she says she has no interest in it. After many years, she falls for those songs and movies. It did happen a couple of times.

This time I forced her to watch Khuda Keh Liye with me after so many years. I told her you should now. It's be so popular. Check out how good a movie it is. It is a Pakistani good movie. But, I don't think she really enjoyed it. It's something like what I feel when she posts stuff like education related posts here or very scientific posts. I feel so bored.

One thing more, it's the headache and the flu. She has it everyday. She says this thing daily "Mere sar mai dard hai" I find it funny. I am sure she would have it. But it's the everyday bit.

A few days ago, I told her about this song I was listening to on the radio - a sad song but very touchy. It kinda reflects upon our lives in many ways. But then, we shared a good laugh when I reminded her of someone we knew who sang the same song but actually in the mind had a very different sort of crazy fun song. It was a funny thought but true in many ways.

I gotta admit though, I envy her when she is sleeping and I am getting ready. I like how she has no tensions about work and pressure related to handling client shit. I lowee the way she is doing what she loves. But I hate that she hates my sweet and sour potatoes. How can she hate them? She showed me a way and then left me alone to wander in the puddle of sweet and sour potatoes? What a tragedy.

She is my wall and my shit too lol

Who's going to attend the funeral?

For a long time, I used to think as to who will attend my funeral. But then it occurred to me that when I’m gone, what does it matter. However, there is one thing that still bothers me. Who will pray for me? I think Papa was lucky, but I’m not, as I don’t have kids.

I have often thought about coffin also. You know when we were kids…we had this huge bed, which had a huge trunk attached to it. And my siblings used to lock someone in the trunk for a minute & that person has to shout for help. I was locked in that trunk twice & it scared the shit out of me. I was 7 at that time, but even today the idea of suffocation could get me suffocated. I don’t know whether to call it a bad game, as kids are like this. At least we weren’t killing kittens on the road like that cruel kid.

This year I lost most of my stray pals & 2 of my favourite cats (Fluffy & Tokyo) besides that kitten who was being killed. Anyhow, it’s also not that easy to domesticate stray cats. My cats have issues with strays. Although most of my cats are being neutered & spayed, but there are 2, 3 amongst them who are still thugs & they don’t stand strays.

Actually when I think about my cats, I get more scared. It seems I can’t afford to die & leave them behind. What would happen to them? Humans are treated so badly. And you all know people have problems with my cats. Just come to think of it, I can’t adopt humans instead of cats. That is ridiculous. And I never seem to understand why do humans expect so much of me? It’s so fucking irritating. Do I even seem to be the kind of person?

They say death is an educational experience & what about life? Is that something that ought to be taken for granted? I did mention in one of my write-ups that we live & learn, & then we die & forget it. I have never been afraid of death & I even survived it few years ago. I think about death, but at the same time, I think about life also. And yeah life always seems far more sexier to me except that the sexy part is missing.

And how can I forget Z who thinks I pick fights with everyone even when I talk…Well Z, this is for you:

“If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.”

And I do mean it Z :P

What do I expect in 2010?

These days I literally have to drag myself out of the bed. I so not feel like waking up. In fact it seems I don’t look forward to life. I have always been a positive person & this development has come to me as a shock. Not looking forward to life is something worse than death or any other catastrophic event, in my opinion.

At the end of the day, I put a cross on that date & I have been doing this ever since 1996. Z has often asked me why do I cut out dates on the calendar. Quite frankly, I do not know. When I started this, I thought I was waiting for tomorrow. Now I know there is no tomorrow. It doesn’t matter when did I stop believing in it. . However, this is the 1^st time in all these years that I truly do not expect anything. Every New Year used to be full of hopes. This is quite unlike me. Maybe it’s one weird phase.

I look back & I see one stupid person who was waiting for God knows what. I wasted this Ramazan, as I didn’t know what to ask for while praying. But all these years, I prayed for all the wrong things.

We are mostly flooded with questions. And seriously I have been wondering: is this trial or is this some punishment? I’m still standing where I was standing 20 years ago. And I’m not being dramatic about it. It’s very true. Z & I often laugh at this. What a waste of 2 decades though! Another year would be added pretty soon. But each year my humor becomes better & better. Nevertheless 20 years is a huge price for a better humor & frankly, it’s not that good yet.

Oh & I don’t make New Year resolutions.

Happy Birthday Mr. Jinnah!

He is one of my favourite personalities. Had he lived a little longer, Pakistan would have been a different place.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! :D

Well I hope all of you out there have a great Christmas & may all your dreams come true in 2010.

Stay happy! :D

*Hugs & kisses*

Z & Nadz

Jingle Bells

Jingle Bells has been one of favourite poems, but sadly I have forgotten most of the lines. Anyway, I got this from the net just now. And Z, I'm sure you would love it.


Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bob tails ring
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to laugh and sing
A sleighing song tonight

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh

A day or two ago
I thought I'd take a ride
And soon Miss Fanny Bright
Was seated by my side
The horse was lean and lank
Misfortune seemed his lot
We got into a drifted bank
And then we got upsot

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh yeah

Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh

Swine flu

What the hell is swine flu? Is there really a cure for it or do people just die? Can the authorities be trusted, as they love to hide everything for a long time?

It has been reported that 3 people have died due to swine flu in Karachi & there are 42 more positive cases of swine flu...which means there ought to be more, as statistics over here can’t be trusted.

I’ve heard & even seen that they take more than a week to give the blood test report. It shows how inefficient professionals are about their work. Meanwhile the patient may die, but who actually cares about it.

Anyhow, confirmed & suspected swine flu patients are mostly teenagers & people in their 20s. Well this is about Karachi & I don’t know about other places. They are saying that people suspected of this flu should stay back at home & avoid other people as the disease can be transmitted very easily through respiratory droplets.

“Mild symptoms may include fever, sore throat, cough, headache, muscle or joint pains, and nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea. Those at risk of a more severe infection include: asthmatics, diabetics, those with obesity, heart disease, the immunocompromised, children with neurodevelopmental conditions, and pregnant women…Currently, there are 12,121 confirmed deaths worldwide. This figure is a sum of confirmed deaths reported by national authorities and the WHO states that total mortality (including deaths unconfirmed or unreported) from the new H1N1 strain is "unquestionably higher" than this.”

And it is wrongly presumed that swine flu is spread by eating pork or being around pigs. It’s a virus that contains a combination of genes from swine, avian & human influenza viruses.

I also read elsewhere:

“By May 11, 2009, a swine flu detected just two months earlier in an outbreak in Mexico and the United States had spread to 30 countries raising the threat level to 5 on the global flu scale. On June 11, 2009, the director-general of the World Health Organization further elevated it to level 6: a flu pandemic. While alarming, this should not have been a complete surprise as leading scientists have, for years, been foretelling a flu pandemic was "not a matter of if, but when."

“But couldn't we learn so much more, so much faster if we just asked people without discrimination "are you sick?" during this critical time of pandemic flu? In the future, perhaps one won't even have to be asked, but we are now in the present. Are we tracking the first flu pandemic of the 21st Century, or are we watching it? History will decide.”

Education is your right

“Is it possible to doubt the utility of education? If it is good for you, why not for everybody?”
Leo Tolstoy

Education is the basic right of a person anywhere in this world. Unfortunately rather than working on this cause, we have people who blow up educational institutes. On top of it, we have educated jahils in abundance as well. I have even met folks who think that education is not that important. It’s actually a waste of time & so they believe that the lower classes shouldn’t study. This is sheer discrimination. These are the people who went abroad for higher studies, but this is how they feel for the underprivileged.

I believe education does open your mind & when it doesn’t, the mind must be too thick & full of crap. But this doesn’t mean that people should stay illiterate. It’s saddening that schools were nationalized & so many kids were deprived of what was their right. And this has given rise to Urdu medium & English medium crap. Angrezi ka complex would invariably stay strong in our part of the world. If wannabes would not look down on their mother tongue, how else will they be called broad-minded, to begin with?

We are a complex nation beyond any doubt, as we have places where only people from specific institutes are being hired. I’m so sorry but I don’t know how else to look at it. Some people also believe that those who have done their Os & As are the only ones who went to school & the poor ones who have done their matric are illiterates. I fail to understand this biased viewpoint as well. Although I have written on these things earlier on, but whenever I think about it, it seems unfair. No one has the right to look down on anyone – that is the 1st thing humans ought to learn. And this can be done at home.

Mafia

Last week a colleague of mine told me this very interesting story. It was quite weird. I don't know what were we discussing then, perhaps talking about the movie Traffic Signal and the beggars. That they have a mafia of their own. And this mafia is very strong and works in specific, designated locations.

Anyway, then she told us this story. A friend of a friend got married to a decent, well off family living in Defence. But as she went to her new home, she was left all alone the entire day. She was told everybody in the family worked. So, for 4-5 days she just remained silent in the quiet home. But the one morning she woke up and saw the entire family got up at 5 am or something and were getting ready in shabby clothes. And then the family told her that they were beggars and that this was their family business!!! And she should join them too.

She ran away and filed for divorce. But imagine that...

I believe when we write about the ills & ugliness of the world, we should also have the guts to write about the ills in our own backyard. We all have skeletons in our closets. We may pretend otherwise. It doesn’t matter, because there is a big difference between angels & humans.

Whatever I write about my personal life & family, I do tell my mother about that. I don’t want others to tell her what I have written on the blog. Ammi & Z do respect my work. They do not agree with everything though. Yesterday I felt that both of them have been a little uneasy, because of what I wrote in Trapped 2. But they didn’t ask me to delete anything or to make any kind of change. However, I have deleted one of the paragraphs, as these are 2 very important people.

I have been thinking that when we genuinely care about someone, it’s hard for us to speak the truth. Which means we shouldn’t care at all :P Actually before we write anything, we are also humans. I thought I was a machine & nothing could come in my way. And yes I have deteriorated as a person over the years. I used to be quite sensitive about lots of things. Now I don’t even cry when anything bad happens in my life.

I think I owe an apology to my readers as I have made this change. I don’t have issues with the ones who read me. But when I thought about the people who read me while that damn blognetwork was alive, it still boils my blood. And keeping in mind that kind of nuisance also, I deleted that paragraph.

The thing is...they didn’t ask me to do anything...they could have & I kept thinking about it. I have always tried to write with honesty & hopefully I will continue to do that, because I really don’t see the point of highlighting faults of others & at the same pretending to be someone who is without faults.

Nothing short of hell

Sometimes I don’t understand why this world has been creating. People are so full of shit. They just go around hurting & killing people. On top of it, nothing could be done to stop this hatred.

Reading horrifying reports is a norm. Many a time, even I don’t feel a thing while reading all these reports. It’s just not possible to be empathetic all the time when such incidents happen every day. Anyhow a young man has killed his 18 year old cousin. He shot her 3 times in the face & she died on the spot. His proposal has been rejected by the father. He came with 2 other guys to convince the uncle & when he refused, this guy went in the kitchen & fired 3 times at the girl.

Of course it’s nothing new. Suitors often kill or throw acid on the faces of such girls when they are being rejected by the parents or the girls. Survivors are only living corpses. People hate so much that they don’t have any fear of God. Otherwise why would anyone take such drastic & crazy measures against any being. But all this happens, cause the foundation of justice in this country is weak. In fact the judiciary has become a mockery. Actually I don’t give a damn to that, but the future of any country is bleak when the crime rate increases & the conscience of people is dead.

It seems that the other name of hell is this world where people have no problem in devouring others.

Trapped 2

I was 24 at that time. Till today I never thought of preserving this story on my blog, but it’s time I should put it down. For a long time, people have hated me without any reason. Now I want them to have a reason for hating me :P

I was pressing my clothes when my elder Bhabhi started talking to me about various things. She just had her 2nd baby. She always wanted us to change the nappies of her kids. Of course I never seemed to be the kind who could do such a thing. Actually she wanted Z to do this & she always used to talk about it, but you know Z & I are related. Anyway, the story is not about changing nappies. It’s about contraceptives.

My bhabhi asked me as to what she should do about birth-control. I naturally suggested that she should have a chat with her doctor. What can else I say? I told her about IUD. I didn’t know much about birth-control pills. She told me about some pills that my brother got from some Babu. Anyhow she asked me to buy pills for her from the market. Naturally I said no & asked her to talk to her mother or sister. She was even older than my elder brother & it was her 2nd marriage. I just couldn’t see as to why she was pretending to naive. And why would an unmarried person buy pills for a married woman who seems quite experienced in the 1stplace?

When I told my mother, (which I had to as you know I can’t always trust the female spouses of my siblings & this pill thing was a little too much) she was so pissed off at me. She gave me a lecture & asked me how come she is so frank with me. And she said, don’t you see what she’s trying to prove…she wants to prove that you take pills. I was ordered to maintain my distance.

I referred this story to my friends & they said that my mother is right about the whole thing. She usually is right about lots of things.

I have never been able to comprehend as to why people are so sly & cunning. If someone has harmed you in any way, yeah you have the right to take revenge, but what’s the point of throwing mud at other people’s character without any reason?
I was friends with the husband of my elder sister as I helped them in their marriage. But my Bhabhi had quite an imagination…she even used to ask my sister as to what Nadira & her hubby talk about…& all that crap. Later on I even heard that I had an affair with my brother-in-law. Yes I was quite pissed off. I wouldn’t say he’s like my brother, cause he is my brother & I don’t understand what do people get by spreading such baseless & shameless stories. I actually do not know who is behind this story & as usual nobody wanted me to find out either.

I’m the kind of person if I have an affair with someone, I wouldn’t hide. I don’t have to, cause I don’t think affairs are bad. Maybe I could go beyond the boundaries & maybe not…Well actually I do not know. I can be a very difficult person at times.

When I was 17, I wanted to talk to 2 guys who used to call me, but I couldn’t. My siblings were always eavesdropping, besides recording my calls & my mother too was a prime pain at that time. Naturally in such circumstances, I couldn’t talk to guys. And you must bear in mind that my siblings are so fond of affairs & marriages; they were all very irritating & one could never think of fun. What a waste of teenage years! I may sound like a loser, but those who have witnessed the ugliness of this world would know what I am talking about.

Yesterday for an hour I kept on thinking about all this & much more. There are times when I wanted to do something for others, but I couldn’t. I helped out my elder sister in her marriage, but later on I realized that neither she was right nor my mom was. I shouldn’t have sided with anyone, but I was being used. My mom didn’t give me the money for medical school as a punishment. Z & I were not even allowed to talk. We used to talk on chits & we were being caught also for talking & again punished. My brothers were always recording my calls. Talking to my friends was also a torment. Naturally I became a recluse.

Today I hate it when Z gives the money for rent. I hate it when she pays for the debts of my brother. I have protested against this in front of my mother, but it has all been in vain. I don’t understand why my mother has suddenly become so helpless.

I have seen life very closely. Sometimes I don’t understand how Z & I could put up with shit for so long. There are times when I meet people & they say they are like me…you know I don’t want anyone to be like me. And the funniest thing is that my elder Bhabhi also says that she is like me :P Do the math & you would know what evil thoughts I have in my mind.

Poor baby

Well I saw the photo of this cat on the application where we virtually foster cats till they are being adopted by someone in real life. This cat doesn’t have a name. In fact she is called CAT. And in this particular shelter, they put down animals after some time. At the moment, she is on the list. As you can see in the pic, this poor baby looks so scared & sad. I think she needs a loving family, but she doesn’t have much chance. It’s evident from the picture that nobody has ever cared about her.

Some people are saying that they have been inquiring about this kitty. Some say that they are only allowed to keep 2 cats, & that’s why they are helpless. This rule ought to be changed, so that they can help some more cats who are in need of help.

Murdering innocence in broad daylight

I do not like reading the newspapers for a variety of reasons, but somehow I always end up reading them. Sometimes I feel there is no tomorrow. Today I again read how newborn babies are being disposed off. This is something that happens every day & will continue to happen. Worst of all, our corrupt police doesn’t even register any case. Killing newborn babies is a criminal offense. In fact, it’s a capital offense. In spite of that, you could see the inefficiency of our system that doesn’t even bother to register a case in the 1st place.

Bodies are packed or wrapped in plastic bags & are found in garbage dump sites, sewers, drains or filthy narrow lanes. In some cases, they also throw acid on the bodies. There are a couple of things I don’t understand. How do they manage to hide for 9 months? Whoever assists them, why can’t they just put the babies in the cradles that are almost everywhere?

I don’t think in our country they would ever legalize abortion. And there are few people who actually adopt these kids. Although innumerable people talk about adopting babies, but we all know that it’s only big talk. Moreover, it’s a very big responsibility. Most of us can’t even do justice to it...at least I know I can’t. But nevertheless I don’t see the need to murder such babies.

We have coined terms such as illegitimate for our own convenience. I think the acts, deeds & thoughts of humans could be illegitimate, but an innocent baby cannot be called so. Only a cruel society can derive pleasure by following such a rotten practice of killing babies to hide away their sin. It’s gross, to say the least. And the fact that people stay silent also shows that we are a degenerated nation. As long as bad things are happening to someone else, we don’t care.

This is actually a very sensitive issue & the silence of people only reveals that we are least bothered. I often think about this problem, but I don’t see any solution.

Cats Don't Care

Rudolph

I miss the way we used to celebrate X-mas in school. It's been so many years I haven't really celebrated it. I even forgot so many x-mas poems. Nadzy and I were trying to sing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer today but we couldn't remember it much. So, I searched for the lyrics :)

We used to sing this in the music class so often

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose.

And if you ever saw him, you would even say it glows.

All of the other reindeer

used to laugh and call him names.

They never let poor Rudolph

join in any reindeer games.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve

Santa came to say:

"Rudolph with your nose so bright,

won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"

Then all the reindeer loved him

as they shouted out with glee,

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,

you'll go down in history!

A few updates

I don’t know how true is the crap we read in the newspapers, but some affairs, by all means, sound amusing. Well they say that Ranbir Kapoor & Katrina Kaif are going out now after working together. I was wondering as to what happened to Salman Khan. And Ranbir Kapoor never seems to take a break. When he worked in his 1st movie, it was Sonam Kapoor, then it was Deepika & now maybe it’s Katrina. She is also looking for a residence near his home. This could be the reason why Salman Khan’s face has become swollen. Just a wild guess!

Elsewhere I read that Ranbir Kapoor is also sexy??? He himself was also shocked & he said that there are thousand faults in his face & body. I think his body is fine, if you don’t look at the face. In fact his physique is pretty good, but the word sexy is not for him. He got a break in the movies, as he’s from Kapoor family. He's just like any average guy who can act well but wouldn't get a break, thanks to nepotism. Which reminds me that Bebo & Ranbir are cousins & yeah that’s the time to do a bit of math & get the answer! (They never take any Kit Kat break)

Incidentally, it is heard that Deepika too is having an affair with Farhan Akhtar. She too is just like Ranbir & her cousin, if the media doesn’t lie. And I think they are into lying, as they want people to buy their shit. It’s a possibility that many a time, people are only talking & they presume that they are having affairs.

I did mention Qurbaan & that sensational sense between Saif & Kareena a couple of times. It has been said that no one in the Indian cinema has done such a daring scene. And it has been so sensational & daring that the movie is a flop.

I saw Paa last Sunday & I thought Z would write something on it, so I kept mum all this while. The movie is just okay. Vidya Balan has done a good job. Abhiskek sounds fake a number of times, but he seems cool all dressed in white. I think a child could have done a better job than Amitabh. That character seemed too old. There was no touch of innocence. I don’t remember the name of the movie in which Ajay Devgan had a younger brother who was retarded. That was a touching movie & everyone did a superb job. Every time you watch that movie, it’s sure to make you cry. In Paa, you won’t shed a single tear...I can guarantee that.

And how can I forget the most important part...in the beginning of Paa, Mrs Jaya calls out the names of everyone. Hear it for yourself...it’s not musical though. And there are innumerable dialogues on potty & those dialogues aren’t that hilarious (the script was written half-heartedly when potty came in the picture I guess), but yes if you laugh at the mention of the word ‘potty’, then this is a movie for you. On second thoughts, instead of calling it Paa, they could have called it Potty. Then we’d all have a ball of a time asking for the DVD.

Yes man people

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

When I read this line, I couldn’t help thinking that people blatantly abuse. Sometimes sycophants also fall in this category. But what am I talking about? Beyond any doubt, sycophants never take a break, so ‘sometimes’ is out of the question. Quite frankly, stupid is not the word for them as bootlicking is one bad habit & it’s beyond stupidity.

However, sycophants have come into existence as people want to hear lies. A true well wisher doesn’t need to lie to you. He can point out your faults rather than following yes sir approach. But I’m sure there is a need to hear lies, & so sycophants step in. Why do people want deceitful liars is a question that can only be answered by those who have the need to have chamchas. And the ones who indulge into buttering & lying aren’t any different from those who unjustly criticize & unnecessarily find faults in a person.

I regard them as dangerous as they are beings who have motives & they take advantage wherever they can. I know people who talk about having principles, but they don’t miss a chance of buttering & giving false opinions.

Although no one actually approves of sycophants, but the case against them is never that strong. We know there are set views – men & women who drink & sleep around are bad people; women who sleep to climb the ladder of success are whores. I don’t understand why people are so tough on them. It’s not even their business if anyone sleeps or drinks in the 1st place. But I see hypocrisy everywhere. A person has a weakness & some other person (yeah a sycophant by birth) takes advantage of it by falsely praising him/her…How come this person is not lynched? There ought to be some benefit or motive. Right? Otherwise who would waste time in lying & deceiving. But the so-called upholders of morals will stay quiet as they are busy painting who is really bad.

Absurdities

There are a couple of things I have noticed that women in our society do not approve of & yes I want to bitch about it.

Yesterday we went to the wedding of our childhood friend. One of his aunties was really mad at me for loosing weight. And when she saw my brother, she asked him as to when he is getting married. When men say such inconsiderate things, I do not waste my time on it. But when a woman does this, I’m quite pissed off. Couldn’t she see that he has 2 unmarried sisters? I think it’s highly insensitive on the part of any woman to say such things in front of females. Or maybe they think that women can put up with shit & so they can wait forever. But men cannot wait, & so other men & women should help them. And yeah how much time does it take for a guy to find a wife? We all know the answer bloody well.

I have also noticed that women think that it’s okay if a man smokes, but it’s a sin on his part if he drinks. I’m sorry I don’t understand the logic. Some of course do not even approve of smoking. I have observed that most of the guys who drink are far better humans than all those men & women who do not drink or smoke. You know a person can be bad without even doing a bad thing.

And when it comes to the 2nd marriage of a guy, you should hear the views of women. They are all dead against it. It doesn’t matter whether the guy has a terrible marriage & he decides to put an end to it. This is a thing that nobody wants. A guy who leaves his wife for another woman is a monster & the woman is a slut. Even women who get married 2 or 3 times are vicious beings. I think it requires a lot of courage to put an end to a bad marriage. It seems that the society only wants people to suffer & when someone decides to breathe, they tell him/her that they are bad people.

And yeah people in general cannot approve of anyone who is fat or healthy. But at the same time, they cannot approve of someone who is thin either. They also can’t approve of short people or if someone has a dark complexion.

I’m sorry but I fail to see the logic behind all this. It seems that people have problems with everything & women are too finicky & bitchy, to say the least.

Mirza Ghalib

Mirza Ghalib has been one of my favourite personalities in Urdu Literature. His work speaks for itself. No one needs to say anything on it. What I like best about him is that he has this integrity in love. Unlike other poets, he doesn’t fall like a mad person who has no respect for himself.

My younger sister is fond of Urdu poetry & some of my friends in the university too were addicted to poetry. My friends Fariha & Saima often used to read out poems. Unfortunately, most of the people I know have this angrezi ka complex & they pretend their Urdu is not good. Naturally they have no time for anything in Urdu.

Anyhow, I think Naseeruddin Shah did an awesome job as Ghalib. His dialogue delivery was excellent. I was quite touched when he was feeding the little kitten & I just loved how he expressed his feelings that how can you say no to someone who wants to share his child (kitten) with you. Besides that I really like it when he makes fun of Zauq in the market. Zauq was, by all means, a pathetic poet. And how Ghalib forms the poem in front of the king also shows that he was one talented poet. I also like the characters of his wife & that prostitute who admired him. He was different in many ways. No wonder poets like Altaf Hussein Hali revered him. Ghalib’s work is for all time I guess.