The Storm of Indignation

Lately I have been writing on very gloomy topics but we need to stand up for what is right.

Yesterday I read in the paper that some sick guy groped at Bipasha’s bosom when she went to attend some puja & he also disappeared due to the commotion. No police complaint has been filed against him. And Bipasha was with John at that time. What the hell is this?

There are some lousy laws in Pakistan as well. The ones who forcibly fondle a female can go to jail for 3 years but in this society, females would never take a stand as everyone starts judging them. If something has happened with a female, then they put the blame on the victim. And the perpetrator goes around fondling others.

We all know how unfair Hudood laws are, particularly the Zina ordinance. These laws ought to be blotted out. They have done more harm than good, cause a law that doesn’t know the difference between rape & making out is as good as crap. Then the police is not at all trustworthy. Dragging someone to the court doesn’t ensure that justice would be granted as law is one thing & justice quite another.

We all read about that 3 year old child who was raped & then killed by 2 police men. Somehow they are being punished, which is good news.

Anyway I’m writing this as I have been thinking that people for the most part make it damn difficult for the victims. People also have serious issues with those who write about such crimes. I don’t think much of women who act as heartless bitches when they hear about these incidents. Either they have been through it & by denying all this, they are trying to prove something to themselves. I personally know women who actually like to make a scene out of somebody else’s misery. Since people love to presume, the 1st thing on their mind is that as to who is going to marry this female.

When I wrote on sexual harassment & narrated the incident of my teacher. 2 ladies from my circle tried their best to make me feel bad. The message I was trying to give in that write-up was that people make it all more bad for the victims or the ones who complain about sick bastards. This particular teacher also did something to a student in my class & she was quite pissed off. She said that she would drag him to the court. But then I don’t know why she backed off & it all happened before our finals. She did complain to the chairman. And believe it or not, I used to hear from girls of other departments that far worse things happen in the university.

You know when you help someone cross a crooked path, you help yourself. Although I can’t even comprehend the trauma of rape victims & those who have been abused in childhood but I have faced sexual harassment twice. 1st time it happened when I was 12 year old & I was coming with my younger brother from tuition centre. Unfortunately we didn’t wait for our car on that day. This uncle came & this entire forcible fondling thing happened. I felt so dirty but somehow after a year, I fell in love with this neighbor, so I was happy & that haunting memory for a few years subsided. The 2nd time it happened when I was seriously ill & I was 25 +. This bloody servant tried to do the same thing again & he also hit me on the head. I gave that bastard a good piece of my mind. I even told my mother & my younger brother but nothing was done. This bastard worked in our house for almost 20 years or so. He was also into stealing our animals. And I get to see this bastard from time to time. The thing is…every time I get the opportunity & I insult him & I don’t even feel bad about it but I’m never satisfied. I have a feeling that he goes around abusing young kids.

I have been against servants & I don’t know how parents trust them. These maids who take care of kids, can they be trusted? These chauffeurs & servants only wait for an opportunity. Of course everyone is not a criminal. Even we had some really good servants.

Few years ago, the staff at Aladin Park was involved in a couple of gang-rapes. They used to target the couples who thought that damn park was the best place to meet their loved ones & there the girls were being raped by this 6, 7 men. The manager too was involved.

It only takes a minute to change somebody’s life forever. I know I talk too much & I say things that people cannot even dare to imagine. I wanted to write about this but I didn’t as anyone could have said anything on the blognetwork. Some stupid guys were painting me as kafir. I already had a bad feeling & those 2 ladies did what ignorant fools do. Some people think they can get the better of anyone & they have the right to outdo others. But nevertheless such people are seen everywhere. They are supersensitive about themselves & they think they have the right to say anything to others.

Everyone has to fight his demons & the hardest battle is indeed the one which you fight with yourself. And you have to fight your own battles; even those who care cannot fight your battles & your fears. And fears aren’t false but in order to go beyond fear, we must fight with ourselves.

I don’t know if my story could help anyone as it’s not that traumatic. But I believe no one deserves to be harassed or molested in any way, cause that thing doesn’t happen once; it happens a million times in your brain.

You know sometimes I’m tired of being strong. What happened with me when I was 12, I didn’t share it with my best friend & my elder sister & my buddies. That is one revelation. There are some people when you tell them something, you tell the entire world.

Green-eyed monster in your backyard

I have 2 questions & they can be taken as just 1: How compassionate are you when jealousy strikes at your door? Can you have compassion for someone who’s capable of killing you? My answer would be no but yes I’d try to understand as to why someone wants bad things to happen to me. Few years ago, I read this report about a woman killing both her parents with an axe. It happened in Ramazan. She was mentally ill. Her husband left her & she had 2 kids & she wanted to get married again but she said that her mother was not interested. After staying in the jail for 2 years, she herself also committed suicide. It’s difficult to be compassionate when we hear such cases. And it’s easy to use the word judgmental for those who can’t be compassionate.

We have heard of rivalry & jealous amongst siblings. We also have the example of Cane & Abel. It is said that Abel, the first murder victim, is sometimes seen as the first martyr; while Cain, the first murderer, is sometimes seen as a progenitor of evil.

I also read:

“It seems as old as time itself, and yet the mystery of what to do about jealousy between siblings has yet to be solved. The new baby coming home may upset its older sibling. Brothers and sisters who are close in age will feel the need to compete, and for unknown reasons one sibling may have feelings of resentment towards another that can (and many times will) last throughout their adulthood.”

Actually I have a couple of things in my mind. People say that a mother can never be mean but then we hear of cases in which mothers have killed their children. There is also a view that jealousy cannot exist between siblings. I think these views have come from people who want everyone to think that there is nothing wrong in this world. And if you depict the world as shit pot, then you have invented stories that are preposterous for the worldly mind.

When I was in college, somebody narrated this hilarious story that a mother sleeps between her son & his wife. We just couldn’t believe it as it sounded extremely funny. In our part of the world, mother-in-law is regarded as vamp & daughter-in-law is mostly considered some character from the movies who puts up with shit & doesn’t even complain. In simple words, I call it lack of imagination as anyone can be vamp.

Anyway, in all these years, I’ve seen that jealousy is something that can exist anywhere & in any relationship. A daughter can be jealous of her mother. A mother would have problems with the wife of her son. Sister can be jealous of another sister. Siblings can look down on the one who is not like them.

We live once & I really don’t see the point of having grudges against people who have hurt me at some point or who targeted me for whatever reason. I don’t like to resume friendship with such people though. And there are also some people who have never been my friend but they surely have problem with me…those people are called cousins from my maternal side, in plain English. Since I already have enemies, so it doesn’t really matter what I say. Those who don’t know me may regard me as someone who likes to bitch 24/7 & is also very shameless. But their opinion is not that important.

My history is something like this…I wouldn’t have been born, had my brother Aurangzeb not died. My mother still misses him & both my parents were extremely hurt. He was a blond & a very beautiful baby. Anyhow, I was born after a year & at that very time, my father also got promoted. And both my parents decided that they wouldn’t raise the topic of divorce again as they now have 2 daughters. I was considered very lucky for my parents. Everyone knows that I’m vocal but no one knows that I started talking with Papa when I was just 3 days old. And he used to visit us every weekend. My childhood was nothing short of a fairy tale. But that got me into serious trouble.

I have seen movies & have also read books in which they show rivalry between siblings but somehow they are always stepbrothers & stepsisters, never real ones. What a pity! I wonder how long we are going to take to look truth straight in the eye.

Last but not least, my kid sister is, by all means, a gift of God. If Z had been a year younger than me, then I surely would have no need for a single friend. You know God makes sure to compensate.

Who is the savior of strays?

One thing that I find excruciatingly annoying is that people who come to me & ask me to adopt some stray. In the past, there have been people who thought it was their birth-right to drop helpless animals at our house & all these so-called animal lovers have this pain in their heart; they all love to do this big talk about helping animals but in reality, they are only breed conscious.

And I don’t know as to who is spreading rumors about me helping each & every stray in Pakistan. Umar & I already look after 30 cats, & taking care of 30 animals is a huge responsibility. We won’t be seen anywhere doing this fucking big talk. We do what we can. Yeah I know it’s on a very small scale. Maybe one day we might be able to touch our dream & build a proper animal shelter in Karachi. But at the moment, we can’t say anything. Since my big shot father is dead & I’m not married to George Clooney, & I’m also not Amitabh of Sharabi, I can’t help anyone at the moment.

I meet countless people who claim to love animals & yet they don’t look after even one stray. Ever since DHA people came up with this fucking idea of shooting stray dogs, a lot of people think that my brother & I are the solution & we would provide home to every stray in Karachi. Is it solely our responsibility? I have mentioned a couple of times about stray dogs & puppies who have been murdered in my neighborhood. My mom & I used to give them food. We knew the mother of the puppies since she herself was a puppy. I wanted to shift all those strays from this place. We did contact all the people who claimed to be so god-damn loving when it comes to animals but they were of no help. It was all big talk. They are only interested in competitions. No one is ready to take any action.

There are vets in this country & some of them are good. Those who really want to help animals can contact them. You can make blogs in order to help out these strays. You can post the pics of those strays on them & if anyone is interested, then he/she could contact that person. It’s really annoying when you can’t move your ass & yet you want others to do that job for you.

The thing is…we can’t pour compassion into those who are heartless. Fine. But what about all those breed conscious people who never get tired of telling you how much they love animals? And there are some who also hate strays but only love you know the breeds they can’t even pronounce, to begin with. And please I’m not a savior.

Rather than waiting for others to do something for strays, one should do whatever he/she could do himself/herself. If all those who claim to care about animals even provide home to one stray, that would help. But if you’re expecting others to help out & solve the problem than you may wait forever.

And I guess if you’re genuinely interested in a cause, you do something rather than just bothering those who are already doing something.

What’s the worst that could happen?

What’s the worst that could happen to a person? The answer may vary from individual to individual. I wrote ‘Life in a nutshell’ as a friend is going through a terrible phase. She has been a victim of date rape. I wanted to write on date rape when I wrote on incest but I didn’t as those who read me know that some people started painting me as non-Muslim & that I’m making up stories. If I have to create stories, I’d go for something sexy. But this is reality; this is life. We have victims who haven’t recovered as yet.

I happen to know people who have been sexually abused in their childhood. I also believe that people don’t make hideous stories about themselves. I can’t even imagine what the trauma is for rape victims. And I know that people who start shouting when they hear something are those who want to stay in a state of denial. They can do that…we don’t actually care.

This is what I have gathered from here & there:

"Its victims are much more likely to know (and trust) the perpetrator involved. Victims are often 15 to 25 years old because those are the common dating years.
The effects are long term and can leave a victim's life ripped apart.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a common problem for rape survivors.

The crime effects not only the primary victim, but spreads to include significant others, friends and can even impact distant family members. The devastation for the victim can be far reaching and the conviction rate is poor because only 5% of date rapes are ever reported.

There are many situations where perpetrators don't feel their behavior has
broken the law, but according to the victim, the story is different.
Going out on a date is not automatic consent to have sex. It doesn't matter how much money was spent or what kinds of gifts were bought. Sex is not something owed in return for going on a date.

Date rapes are devastating. Not only is a date rape a violation in itself but the victim has been harmed by someone she previously trusted. It's a betrayal that makes victims have to learn to trust people all over again. This is not an easily accomplished feat.

Most people think of rapes as being done by someone jumping out from behind a bush and overpowering a victim. That is not usually the case. Approximately 42% of the rapes that happen are date rapes where the perpetrator is known to the victim.
Approximately 90% of rape victims, who knew their attacker, do not report the attack to authorities because of fear of guilt/responsibility, self blame, embarrassment, helplessness, denial, and a number of other emotional factors.

According to Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN), 11% of rapes involve the use of a weapon, while 84% use force alone. Other common characteristics of a date rapist include male dominance, hostile attitudes toward women, use of force in sexual relationships, and excessive use of drugs and alcohol. The amount of prior sexual experience also plays a role in the actions of a date rapist. Date rape is also called acquaintance rape because 70% or more of victims know their attackers."


It’s obvious that the victim doesn’t recover. It’s like you love someone & that person takes undue advantage of you. We don’t live in Utopia; we live in a world where daughters, sisters, grand-children, nephews, nieces are being raped. It seems we live in a world where we shouldn’t trust anyone. And as I mentioned earlier on…there are always people who have issues with this…it cannot happen…How do they know? Are they everywhere? Or do they have some superhuman powers? These are the very people who make it difficult for victims to ever recover. On top of it, there are people who have problem with the word slut. They find it highly derogatory & discriminatory on the part of anyone who uses it. Where the fuck are they when children are being raped in their houses?

By writing this, I know I can’t make things better…the wound cannot heal & even if it does, the scar would haunt. I often wonder why bad things happen & good things don’t. And when I think of rape, man I’m like…that’s the worst thing that could happen to a person & how do these people manage to cope with it all. The idea even gives me headaches.

When I was badly plunged into the abyss of depression some 8 or 9 years ago, someone from my immediate family said to me that my mother was thinking of sending me to a mental asylum & there I would be raped & then the person started laughing. Even if I go mad, I know that my mom wouldn’t send me to any such place; she would take care of me till the end. Although my father is dead but I will say the same thing about him. Negative words can only have negative effects…jealousy can take people to any level. In all these years, I haven’t been able to forgive that person for making that statement. I was like…even if I get raped, would that make you beautiful? You stay ugly forever as your brain is ugly. The whole world can get raped but that wouldn’t give satisfaction to such creatures.

Naturally what do you expect of victims who have been through so much? I’m writing all this as I believe I can fight for all those who couldn’t fight for themselves. I’m writing this as I don’t want my friend to do anything stupid to herself as she has already suffered enough. And I’m sorry that I didn’t write on it earlier on as I was pissed off by all those creeps who presume anything & everything but never the right thing.

This has been one difficult topic for me. After reading such things, people are ready to lynch the writer but this writer doesn’t take shit from anybody. And look at the irony, they spare the culprits but they are after those who write about these horrifying stories. It seems they haven’t even been to school where we were taught in Islamyiat that when something’s wrong being done, we must stop it by force; if you can’t do that, then we must raise our voice & if we are not even capable enough of doing this, we should regard it as wrong.

This is the case in which innocent people have been wronged by those whom they trusted. If you can’t be sympathetic, it’s okay but at least don’t be an asshole.

Shining stars of today

I’ll start off from my favourite Rani jee. I can’t help being naughty - Rani jee who started her career at the golden age of 17 & might exit at 13...you may never know. They are all full of surprises. Anyway it has been said that those bikinis also couldn’t help Rani in Dil Bole Hadippa. By the way, Rani also said that bikini is a very strong word as she is wearing shalwar with it. Alright. I have seen some B grade movies of Rani & I think bikini is but a nice word. I’m not going to provide details as one of my mentors says it’s vulgar. Rani jee who acts all goody goody in front of the camera is quite unprofessional…I read it somewhere. She gets bored when directors tell her what to do. She likes to laugh, cry & act in just one way. These days she’s working with only one director, thanks to her know-it-all attitude. But I will give her one point…she has a different voice.

Karisma is all set to make a comeback on the big screen. David Dhawan is working on the script. She said & I quote, ‘ I’ve done 82 films & have been working since I was 15.’ Thank God it wasn’t 13 or 17. But why so much stress on the age? Which also reminds me that once Resham mentioned that she has worked in 100 movies & SRK who doesn’t know jack shit about women in Pakistan said that it seems women in Pakistan have nothing better to do.

Omer Bhatti, the lovechild of MJ has been welcomed into Jackson’s family. It has been reported that Omer will star as his father in a new film based on the life of MJ. He’s a Norwegian national & he is the result of a one-night stand that MJ had 25 years ago. But I read somewhere else that Omer Bhatti denies that MJ is his father & these are false rumors.

Salman Khan is quite happy with the success of Wanted. Not so famous Vivek has become vegetarian after watching a clip of a slaughter house. It’s a coincidence that I have mentioned these 2 guys together. However, today I’m not interested as to what is common between them…although the lady doesn’t like to be mentioned by them anymore.

Last but not least, Julia Roberts has hired 350 security guards in India. She’s very much worried about the security of our children. Anyway, the locals do not like it as they have been banned from attending a Hindu temple when Julia Roberts was filming there.

Smokey the cat shot 13 times in the head

Almost every day I hear that something obnoxious is being done to animals. An Australian cat named Smokey has been shot 13 times in the head from an air rifle. Smokey is 9 year old & he has survived the ordeal, which in itself is a miracle. He went missing for 3 days & when he came back, he was bleeding like hell. A medical examination revealed 13 pellets lodged in his head & face. Whoever did this ought to be punished but the culprit is free & must be torturing some other innocent animal.

Cases of cats being roasted in the oven too have become something common. A friend of mine who is a police officer told me that a guy who roasted a cat came in her jail but as a police officer, it had been her duty to stay neutral. Genuine animal lovers know how we react when we hear about such cases. I believe such monsters too should be roasted in ovens, so that they know what it’s like to torture another being who can’t even protest. There are also people who say that such individuals might have been through some ordeal themselves. You know what people all over the world suffer but that doesn’t mean that they should make others pay the price. Mental asylum is the best place for mentally sick people. But sadly, these folks go on torturing animals & humans.

We care about animals & yet we haven’t been able to protect them when someone out there is all into shattering life to pieces. There are laws too in some countries & yet monsters go beyond madness to hurt innocent beings. I don’t like to deceive myself & this is how I see the present situation.

PS I have put the pic of a cat who has been skinned in China. Again what a horrible cat & look at the smile on that bastard's face.

Waiting game

We were having a discussion on a friend’s status & I said that waiting in itself is torture. However she believes that the promise will be answered. This is what I scribbled but I liked it so much that instead of posting it on her status, I thought of posting on our blog :P

What you regard as a promise that is taken as trials by many. Where you are standing, I’ve been there. We get answers but by the time, we get answers the questions change.

People give me a bad feeling (specially the ones who send love & act all nice) & that’s one of the reasons why I didn’t want to continue the discussion over there. I feel bad that I always do this to this particular friend but then I don’t even want my good friends to agree with me. Time is one factor that defines everything for you. You just have to wait. I don’t like to deceive myself & I also don’t believe in giving myself false hopes. In a way, optimism is a good thing but hopes get shattered eventually & that hurts. I actually came too far but everyone has to taste it for himself/herself. Maybe it’s different for everybody. We get the answers. God is not silent. When we wait & go through shit, the meaning of a thing also changes as we change.

Animal torture and burning bulls alive

Just now I read this piece when I went to search for petitions. I feel sick that animals are being tortured in a variety of ways in this world. Anyway this is the link, which means it's not a figment of my imagination & more importantly, I don't have anything against the reputation of other countries...I'm here to highlight animal abuse.

http://animalrights.change.org/actions/view/live_bull_to_be_set_on_fire-spain-action_needed

Animal cruelty is not acceptable as entertainment or tradition in the 21st Century. Yet the Toro Jubilo annually occurs in Medinaceli, a province of Soria, Spain. Jeering mobs ~torture~ a bull with balls of burning tar or turpentine (called "pitch") attached to his horns. A bull’s horns, body and eyes are scorched. Some try to escape hours of agony by smashing into walls. While different cultures may not understand each other’s customs, all rational humans comprehend cruelty. Setting fire to a live animal — known as Toro de Fuego or “bull on fire” — is sadistic and hideous.

Animal cruelty is never acceptable in any civilized culture, giving Spain a reputation as barbarians and hinders tourism. We see it as senseless, and makes us fearful of your people and Country representing a violent and dangerous nation that derive pleasure from torture and sadism.

Please sign this petition...

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/firebull---stop-the-burning-of-live-bulls

Akshay Khanna

Akshay Khanna is one of my favourites, cause he acts really well. You just can’t ignore his talent. He’s a natural. When he came, Z had a huge crush on him. What I really like about him as a person is that he’s not into all that cheapness as others can be seen in Bollywood. I also like his brother. Wish he could act like him :P And their father is just awesome. When I was a kid, I liked him more than Amitabh.

It’s a pity I haven’t met die-hard fans of Akshay Khanna. I think this guy will go a long way. And how can we forget…Madhuri is one lady who came as his heroine as well as his dad. That is some achievement.

Life in a nutshell

We all get hurt at some point or the other. We all go through odd phases in life. Life can be brutal, but is it really life or people around us who make life miserable? I totally agree with Sartre about elevated apes: ‘Hell is other people.’ That’s why I believe that life is worth all the trouble. I have said this a number of times in my writings & I mean it. I just don’t say to make myself look all positive. I too have been through extremely dark phases & I know what it’s like when you let go of hope & everything seems meaningless.

I lost trust few years ago & at that time, I thought I would never ever trust again as I had been stabbed in the back by my best people. I still don’t share every thought of mine with those who really care about me. Such has been the damage. This is nothing new; it happens with people. It has happened before & it will happen again. It’s another thing that people like to stay in a state of denial. First thing first, humans are not angels. I learnt it through the hard way cause the lesson was taught by my so-called best people.

Unfortunately I had a strained relationship with both my parents for a long time. I needed them the most when I was a teenager. I was friends with all the wrong people. I still don’t make best friends. Although I have some very good friends. However, I only had one best friend. She was the 1st person who talked to me in school on day 1. We had sure fun & we were friends for 15 or 16 years or maybe more. I now have no time for math. People change & I have changed a lot over the years. When I met her again, things didn’t work out. I was also friends with my elder sister& khalas. There were some other so-called buddies as well.

I don’t know why it’s too much for people, if you’re not like them. And I also don’t think people have the right to judge others. Since I’m not friends with my best friend anymore as we have changed & it’s okay but I have been judged too on this by people who think that if you are not friends with your childhood buddies, there is something wrong with you. Mixing friends & family is indeed one dangerous thing. About my other so-called buddies too...I just don’t want to meet them as when I meet my old classmates & old friends, it just seems to be more of a burden. Everyone thinks that she is too old now. I think old age begins at 60, not in your 30s but nevertheless people like to feel old & want others to feel the same.

In one of my write-ups, I mentioned Michael Jackson & Virginia Woolf. I don’t want to take 10 sedatives & I also don’t want to drown myself. Some of my friends say that my writings could actually make them cry as they can relate to it. I don’t want my friends & even my few readers to cry. If anything at all, look life straight in the eyes & decide at the right time. You may not get everything you want but life is surely not that cruel as it has been painted by those who like to fix the blame & yes it’s easier to lay the blame on life for everything that is rotten.

I’ve had chronic depression but I don’t take meds anymore. I stopped taking them as I want to have control over all my senses. It has been 8 years now. I was prescribed these deadly meds when I was barely 15. I had tortured myself. There were days when I used to take innumerable sedatives & tranquilizers. When I used to wake up, it was always a shock. One day I decided to get rid of all those people who were the reason why I did what I did to myself. They weren’t my enemies; they were my so-called best people. They were not guys; they were all my female friends & some immediate family members. My 1st love was an asshole beyond any reasonable doubt but it was the magic words of my so-called best people that did more damage.

I don’t blame anyone for what happened. I own up my actions & decisions. It was my fault when I used to put up with shit. I knew even as a teenager that some people lie for the sake for lying & yet I trusted them. I let them pour poison in my ears. I wasn’t using my brain cells. I was stupid.

But I have gladly paid the price. And I have survived for a reason. Unfortunately I don’t share everything. I just repeat myself. Some of my pals are going through very tough times. I can’t help you in any way. But I think these words can. Don’t let anyone or anything let you down. Make your own map. Do crazy things. Go for scared idleness…that’s one of the best things as time is priceless.

I have 30 cats & that is regarded to be one of the most craziest things. But I live my life on my terms & I certainly can’t live a life, according to the likes & dislikes of others. I don’t think looking after helpless animals is something crazy. I think it’s good work. And my pets have been a driving force in my life. I can’t imagine a day without them.

I’m sure there must be something that can give you peace of mind as well. Although I haven’t attained it as yet but I’m working on it. And I will touch satisfaction in this lifetime, cause I never give up unless the thing is worthless. I go till the end. Many a time, I have discovered that I had been running after crap. When it’s all that bad, I give myself points for discovering the truth.

Friggin VIP Culture

So it's Eid time already. I have to admit, I really found this Ramzan tough. I didn't even fast the way I used to. I couldn't function this year without food...didn't have the energy to go on like that and the fasts were quite long. Therefore, I really admire all those who did not find excuses and kept on fasting no matter how tough the timings were. Hugs to all my friends who did!

Well, I have to put down a few things today. We had decided that we will go to Hyderabad one day for food - karhai or pallay (fish). So, on the 2nd last roza we set out for dinner. It was a long drive. It was beyond Sajjad's and Al Habib etc. Quite a scary dark ride with few cars and bumpy road. The policemen stopped us once for nothing but Eidi.

We reached this nameless restaurant. It was quite cold there. I rarely enjoy food but I loved the karhai there. It was very tasty. The chicken tikka was just fine. And it wasn't that expensive either. A good time out. Quite a few families were there. However, the trees in the surroundings gave a haunting look.

What I do want to mention is that while we were out to enjoy the night and while most of the city was outside shopping and doing last minute prep for eid some extremely inconsiderate people happened to encounter us more than once. Different people from the same fraternity but doing the same shit. I have always hated it. It is a norm especially during PPP's regime. There are so many VIP movements for no friggin reason with so much security. One somebody is going in a big brand new car often with no number plate as well from one house to another with 4-5 cars behind for security reasons. The traffic is blocked while they run away with irritating sirens.

As we were coming back home we had 2 such encounters. Some complex bureaucratic shit or superiority complex (whatever you may call them)...thinking we are above everyone else mode. We thought there is an ambulance a couple of times but saw these VIPs every time. The third time we didn't bother and it was an ambulance actually. It is a scary thought...there are times when these shitty movements are being done, ambulances find it difficult to reach their destinations.

I have been writing about my anger against these movements every where, even on other people's blogs. I just want people to think that it's wrong. We are being indifferent to everything actually now. People have stopped caring unless they get stuck in jams themselves. Only if you're in the mess, then it's a problem otherwise all's good.

Eid Mubarak!

Wishing our Muslim friends & readers a very happy Eid!

*Kisses & Hugs*

Z & Nadz

Bloody Hell!

The one thing that has given me headaches for quite some time is the damn blognetwork. Although it has been created by my very dear friend on FB but it has allowed idiots to read us. I can’t even blame them as when you have a blognetwork, it means you want people to read your stuff & then rape it. As if it’s their birth right to mutilate anything that is written on the net. I’m very sorry to say but these are people I wouldn’t even talk to in real life.

For a long time, I wanted to see the hard copy of our book ‘If mortals had been immortals’ but now I don’t even want that. I don’t like the idea of strangers coming & invading my privacy. This is a very personal blog & we write about anything & everything over here. It’s not for everyone.

Sometimes people have the problem with the word fuck; sometimes they have the problem with the word slut. Sometimes people want me to verify about petitions that I haven’t even created in the 1st place…although I provide the link but they are stupid enough to know what is obvious. Sometimes stupid people come & tell us as to who has instigated the fight on the national TV & it was okay on the part of the fat lady to react ferociously. As if we give a flying fuck to it! Sometimes people keep on scribbling on the blognetwork & their main aim is to paint me as a non-Muslim.

I have been trying to delete the blognetwork for quite some time, but it’s all so very complicated. I have mailed them & I hope they help me get rid of it once & for all.

And yeah this is what I would like to say to all the morons out there:

Take it or fuck it. But for fuck’s sake, stop pissing on my blog.

Started at 17

Rana jee is one actress that I don’t like at all anymore. Which actually tells you that I might have liked her. Yes I did but now I don’t, because she acts in the same way & she pretends to be too naïve & young. Sadly her monstrous era is not yet over. Anyway, this is what she uttered lately:

‘Shahid & I are probably the same age. It’s just that he started late & I entered the industry at 17. But let me tell you that I look younger than him.’

Funny, isn’t it? We all can also see as to who looks young & who is younger. It so happens that people are not suffering from amnesia. This crap about 17 & 13 suits all the age conscious actresses. As far as I can recall, we saw Rani jee in B grade movies in the early 90s & we saw little Shahid as a teenager in a song much later.

I would have loved to share pics of Shahid with you all but I can’t search for his pics on the net as he happens to be a dangerous thing. So is Aishwarya, Katrina Kaif & Asin.

I also have this hot news about Mallika Sherwat. Recently the famous America photographer Patrick McMullan introduced her to everyone as the ‘Marilyn Monroe of Bollywood.’ Since we don’t presume, naturally we can’t say that Marilyn is turning in her grave. Nevertheless, this reminds me of the terrible milk shake episode.

Dorian Gray

The Picture of Dorian Gray has been one of my favourite books. It’s sure fun to read Oscar Wilde. When I was 12, I discovered he was gay & man I was literally mutilated as at that time, I loved almost every quote by this guy. Now it’s a different story…although I love him but at times I do find him a smartmouth. He’s a charming writer. One never gets bored of his writings.

Anyway when my sister told me that they have made a movie on this book, I have been all excited about it ever since. And I’m sure Ben Barnes & Colin Firth would do justice to the movie. Ben Barnes seems to be one cool Dorian Gray.

I even liked the idea of Faustus. However in this book the protagonist in exchange for eternal youth gives his soul to be corrupted by his mentor Lord Henry Wotton. He has been so very spellbound before the sight of his own portrait. Yeah it’s too vain but one can even worship himself! Anyhow Dorian only brings misery & death to those who love him. And the portrait is watching him all the while. The homosexual hints are deeply buried beneath Dorian’s conventional heterosexual villainies (the seduction of Sibyl Vane, the debauching of society wives, the ruining of young girls, the inhaling of opium).

Oscar Wilde very rightly says:

“It has been said that the great events of the world take place in the brain. It is in the brain, & the brain only, that the great sins of the world take place also.”

Dorian Gray comes across this work of literature that changes his life. And I really liked when he said, ‘I didn’t say I liked it, Harry. I said it fascinated me. There is a great difference.’

And I would like to share another passage & you’d notice his anguish & helplessness in it.

‘I wish I could love, ‘cried Dorian Gray, with a deep note of pathos in his voice. ‘But I seem to have lost the passion, & forgotten the desire. I am too much concentrated on myself. My own personality has become a burden on me. I want to escape, to go away, to forget.’

Women in the assembly

We all know that anything can come on national TV these days as people in our country can never get over their puberty. It seems as if they have taken some sort of vow somewhere in yellow journalism & cheapness. This Ramazan we have seen extremely ugly wonders on TV. Right now I’m referring to the women in the assembly. They surely have not assimilated the idea that they could work along with men. This lady of PP on TV said lots of nasty things to another party member. In fact, she crossed all the boundaries as she thought that people from noble families have the right to humiliate & insult others. Which is why she said that people have voted for her as they know her background & she never started her career from a place called Heera Mandi. I just want to add that this fat aged lady from the so-called noble family doesn’t have the decency to talk as she thought that her noble background would definitely make for her short-comings.

I think it’s extremely low on anyone’s part to drag in such things. I don’t know anything about the lady on whom this fat one was venting out her anger on TV. Even if anyone is a prostitute, I think that is nobody’s business. The fat lady herself must have played a thousand games to be where she is right now. You know you may never see angels in the assembly. And I have seen that these so-called noble folks who indulge in almost everything find faults in sluts, gays, lesbians & bisexuals, as if it might add feathers in their noble hats.

Police: Teen said he killed kitten because 'it was bothering me'

Police have arrested a man they say broke into a Roseville home and killed the house cat by tossing it into the washing machine, because it was annoying him.

Ty-Shawn E. Bost, 19, of Highland Park was tracked to a Highland Park apartment complex and arrested without incident about 6 p.m. Wednesday, said Roseville police.

He "confessed to his involvement in this heinous crime, stating he killed the cat because 'it was bothering me,' " according to a news release from Chief James Berlin.

He is in jail pending his arraignment at 1 p.m. today in 39th District Court. He is charged with second-degree home invasion, a 15-year felony, and killing or torturing an animal, a 4-year felony.

Bost put the nearly 7-month-old cat Ruby into the front-loading washing machine after removing wet clothes from the machine during the break-in at Kimberly Ross' home Monday, police alleged.

Ross found Ruby dead in the machine when she and her daughter returned home about 10:45 p.m. Monday. Police said the burglars also ransacked the house and took a laptop, a Nintendo Wii game system and some money.

Berlin declined to say how police identified Bost, but said investigators followed up on tips. Berlin, who said police believe more people are involved in the crime, explained that Bost has no connection to the Ross family.

"I would never, ever in a million years ever want anyone to go through this," Ross said. "Ice just must run through their veins to do anything like that."

Ross said she is grateful for the public's kindness, including calls from rescue groups and others offering her a kitten, food and litter. She said she may go out next week to look at the kittens and "see what happens," though she has said that no cat will replace Ruby.

http://www.freep.com/article/20090917/NEWS04/909170589/1001/rss01#pluckcomments

Patrick Swayze

It seems all the brilliant artists are dying. Ghost has been my all time favorite movie & I also liked the series of North & South. I still remember that I watched Dirty Dancing when I was in 8th grade at a friend’s place on her birthday.

His death is indeed tragic. He became extremely weak & a bag of bones due to his illness. May his soul rest in peace. And we’re going to miss him bad.

A story that surely makes you think

Yesterday I read about this 107 year old Malaysian woman who is looking for 23rd husband & her husband number 22 is 70 years younger than her. She fears that her current husband might leave her for another young woman. She even made headlines when 4 years ago, she got married for the 22nd time. This story may seem hilarious but I admire her guts. When you are old, you feel more lonely & I guess everyone needs a partner; age doesn’t really matter.

I have seen that if a woman gets married even the 2nd time, it’s taken very badly. In fact, if a woman settles down with a married man, that is regarded to be some heinous act. When we hear of some woman who has been married 3 times, everyone thinks she’s promiscuous or something. I once read about a character & I did mention her in one of my writings…she used to have sex with anyone she liked & she was married. And she too was considered a slut by many in the book.

Then I couldn’t help thinking of the movie ’Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna.’ I liked the movie. It’s possible that you are being married to the nicest guy & yet you’re not happy. Having an extra-marital affair is something so not acceptable…although it happens. It’s just that people don’t like the idea of a married person having a good time with someone else (other than his/her spouse). And then there are terrible marriages & I don’t think people have the right to judge those people who are having a bit of a nice time. In fact people don’t have the right to judge anyone.

I have always been a very open person. I remember when I was a teenager I said to my friends that I do think about my 1st love all night long. And they were put in a state of shock. As if they didn’t fantasize anyone. In fact, there are times when you think about kissing a person or even having sex with whom you’re only being attracted towards & as such you don’t feel much about that person. You know people get tempted; some get serious, some don’t - & that could be regarded as a tragedy as well :P

Before I forget, some people bothered my kid sister with stupid questions about cyber sex & all that kind of cyber shit. I am the one who writes about sex, not my sister, so just don’t bother her. It doesn’t mean you should send stupid queries to me. I don’t know why people presume all sorts of things about females who write about such stuff. If you can think about something, then I don’t see the harm of saying it. Since people love to pretend & lie to themselves, they wouldn’t get what I’m saying. And the thing is…you don’t kiss every person you talk to. Alright.

I don’t know about others but one of the reasons why I’m not married is that I do believe in marriage. My parents didn’t have a great relationship. I’m the 4th child of my parents & Zara, Umar & I were too young when Papa passed away. I once suggested the idea of my mother getting married again & my elder sister gave me a piece of her mind. She said that you can get married when your husband dies & this is so desperate & no one can approve of such a crazy idea. On a couple of occasions, I did mention this to some of my really out friends & they too were like…oh Nadira, have you gone off your head? ; she doesn’t have to get married. I have discussed this thing with my mom as well & she said that I’m mad to even think of such absurd things.

I seriously don’t think that what I suggested was something crazy or foolish. People have created boundaries around themselves. And they also don’t want others to step out of those stupid man-made rules. They want everyone to follow the same rotten road. They want everyone to have the same pattern of life. And I don’t understand why. In fact I don’t want to understand it. It seems people like the idea of seeing living corpses around them.

Anyway I say…do nothing but at least enjoy life.

Meet the world's brainiest porn star

A university graduate who works as a porn star could make a successful bid as the world's brainiest porn star.

AJ Bailey turned to blue movie industry when she needed 20,000 pounds to pay for relocation costs after winning a place on a Masters course.

The 29-year-old blonde holds a bachelors degree in Anthropology and also studied art at St Andrews, the top Scottish university attended by Prince William.

"Prince William finished his degree just before I arrived in Scotland, but many people from his course were in my class - and they were all his friends," News of the World quoted her as saying.

"At the start of my course I just kept my head down and worked away, but soon after my first major photoshoot for Hustler came out. I got it delivered to my resident halls and soon everyone in college knew about it. I was the talk of the university.

"I'm sure William would have known as his old pals knew about it all - and how often do people attend an MBA course with a porn model," she added.

AJ, who has now filmed two movies, further revealed she spends her leisure time reading Tolstoy and Oscar Wilde.

She said: "I quite like being called the world's brainiest porn star, but it is a cliché that all porn stars are airheads."

Source: http://www.andhranews.net/Intl/2009/September/13/Meet-world-brainiest-porn-28228.asp

Is life so cheap?

Newspapers cover horrific stories every day. The death of 17 women & 13 year old girl during the crazy stampede again make for a very sorry story. 15 people are being injured too. The other day, a man also died while standing in the line for food. It’s ironic that these people went to take free food & they died in this manner. There are always stupid people who can’t help fixing the blame on the deceased for being hyper. I don’t understand how could they say such crap even if it comes in their little minds.

Why was there a baton charge in the 1st place? It was a food ration distribution for poor people. How else do they expect them to behave? In Ramazan, these people were made to stand in such long queues. And why were they dispersing women by baton charge?

Although a judicial inquiry has been ordered but what good would come out of it. The dead people won’t become alive & there is no guarantee that such incidents wouldn’t happen again. What kind of charity was it anyway that resulted in the death of 18 humans?

I’m sorry to say but it seems there is no respect for life. It’s way too cheap for all those who have authority. Even the idea of manhandling women is abhorrent but this thing also happens in this country. And just because it also happens in other places, it doesn’t mean that it should also happen here.

Z & my mom

The 2 most important people in my life are of course Zara & my mom. Last night I had a feeling that I must write down something. I’m not good at it though. I’m the kind of person who is good at picking fights :P That’s why I’m friends with only 1 of my siblings but the unusual thing is that I get along with the spouses of my siblings.

Ammi is actually a very stubborn child & the mood swings of Z get on my nerves. But she was a beautiful baby. She looked like a doll. I’ve never seen such a cute kid in my entire life. She wasn’t like the usual babies who are all pink & you can’t make out their features. She was different. She was like a little doll from paradise. One of my cousins was all over her cradle saying that she belonged to her. Oh how I detested that god-damn statement! Being a Taurean, I turn green at every opportunity :P I can never forget the moments when Umar & Zara were put in my laps. Umar too was a cute kid but he was all pink as a baby & he was so huge.

I think that Z is way too demanding & sometimes I find it suffocating. But she goes out of her way to take care of me & I appreciate that. I’m kind of used to it now. She always reminds me of Rijja – our cat who takes good care of her brother Tasha.

I don’t know if I should call myself a pampered child. I have heard myths about it. It’s true that I used to get everything I ever wanted…I just have to raise my finger at it. I also used to celebrate my birthdays at the beach. That’s why I say I have cool parents 8) But I had a restrained relationship with both my parents during my teenage years. Although I became friends with my mom at the age of 26 but there’s nothing I could do to become friends with Papa.

I feel bad about a number of things. Papa was asking me to have donuts & I didn’t even reply back…he died after a week. Once my mom got these earrings for me & I threw away all of them when I got mad at her. I used to throw books & other stuff of Papa when he didn’t listen to me. I used to throw the things that my mom cherished. I don’t know why I did what I did. Yes & I’m so sorry for being such a brat & ill-mannered kid. Now I meet old people & they say: your parents really did a wonderful job in raising you guys :P That’s actually a huge compliment for my parents & I’m proud of them for inculcating the love of animals in me.

The other day I heard someone on TV bragging that she was an extremely pampered child & then she narrated an incident in which she got frightened & didn’t come out of her hiding for 4 hours. Her sister knew the place where she was hiding but even she didn’t tell the parents. According to the lady, she was so shy that she couldn’t face her parents. It seems both the kids were extremely shy :P I don’t know why people have to tell such stories which don’t even seem plausible.

Pampered kids do a lot of fucking things & they are never scared of their parents. My parents have done such a wonderful job kay mera aaj bhi dimaag kharab hai. And my kid sister also makes sure that I get everything I want now.

Love you all for making me such a brat & a prime pain :P