Long Day’s Journey into Night

“The fog was where I wanted to be…I didn’t meet a soul. Everything looked & sounded unreal. Nothing was what it is. That’s what I wanted – to be alone with myself in another world where truth is untrue and life can hide from itself. Out beyond the harbor, where the road runs along the beach, I even lost the feeling of being on land. The fog & the sea seemed part of each other. It was like walking on the bottom of the sea. As if I had drowned long ago. As if I was a ghost belonging to the fog, & the fog was the ghost of the sea. It felt damned peaceful to be nothing more than a ghost within a ghost…Who wants to see life as it is, if they can help it? It’s the three Gorgons in one. You look in their faces & turn to stone. Or it’s Pan. You see him & you die – that is, inside you - & have to go on living as a ghost.”

- Eugene O’Neill

I think it’s the most beautiful passage I’ve ever read. And yes who wants to see life as it is, if they can help it? Sometimes life doesn’t leave you any option. I see so much pain in this passage. In fact, the character is actually numb with pain. But I guess there’s no end to human misery. That is why it has no face & yet you can see it everywhere.

Nadira Rahman

Help Ensure Justice for Family Pets Shot to Death!

In late January, sheriffs deputies in Chippewa County, Wisc. discovered what they described as one of the worst animal cruelty cases they had ever seen: Raymond E. Knez allegedly came home one morning, rounded up the family pets and, one by one, shot them to death, reportedly in front of his own children. To date, Knez has been charged with multiple crimes, but he faces only misdemeanor animal cruelty charges for the deaths of his family's six pets.

Although Knez has only been charged with misdemeanor animal cruelty, Wisconsin's felony animal cruelty law clearly states that anyone who intentionally mistreats an animal, resulting in that animal's death, is guilty of a class E Felony.

For the sake of animals and people in the community, this case should be aggressively investigated, and, if warranted, fully prosecuted under Wisconsin's felony animal cruelty statute. Animal abusers need to know that animal cruelty is a serious crime that will not be tolerated.

Please do everything you can to ensure that this animal cruelty case is aggressively prosecuted as a felony and that, upon any conviction, significant jail time, psychological counseling and a permanent ban on animal ownership are part of the sentencing conditions.

https://community.hsus.org/campaign/WI_2009_cruelty_pets_shot?source=gabaxc

If you truly care about animals, please sign this petition. It will only take a minute. Thank you!

Nadira Rahman

So who are writers?

Well that’s a million dollar question, but I won’t provide the answer. Why should I? I don’t have to. Yeah but I will quote this:

“I will reduce your standards to absurdity, not by writing them down, though I could do that so well – in fact, have done it – but by actually living them down & dying them down.”

I’ve seen that famous writers are being judged by what they did in their private lives. What has anyone’s private doings got to do with his/her writings? Oscar Wilde was gay. I don’t think it’s a good enough reason to judge his writings or to judge him as a person. That was something personal.

D.H. Lawrence ran away with somebody’s wife – a woman who had 2 children but she deserted them. I’ve met students of Literature who are in a state of shock for what he did. Shakespeare wrote those sonnets for a man. I don’t know what’s the big deal about it. I don’t know what’s the big deal about anything that I have mentioned so far. And yes, I can hold any kind of views.

Writers are people who put down what they think in words. A thing that cannot be done by everyone, cause you might insult the very definition of writing or let’s see thinking, so to speak. Once you start thinking, you can’t stop it. However, there are people who can’t think as they want others to do the thinking part for them. Good for them!

Anyone who writes also knows that the opinions of people don’t matter much. Praise & flattery too are weapons & any intelligent writer would know that. Constructive criticism may help, but then how many are capable of doing that. I don’t expect people to understand each & everything I write. I don’t even want them to agree as I can take care of my opinions all by myself.

Oscar Wilde once said:

“Praise makes me humble, but when I am abused I know I have touched the stars.”

Writers are something like that. Lately I got a couple of messages on my blog network. I’d like to share one with you. This was by Mr. Farhan something:

"Dear Madam,You have taken it in wrong way, I intended to explaining you that this is just the worst part of a society.The problem of you people is that you don't understand what is the cause of this and just say sorry it is very bad, I mean i don’t get what you want to say in your blog, Do you want to feel us sorry then ok "OHHHHHHHH sorry that is very badit should not be there".I will say that religion is the only solution for these kinds of problems.The highest rate of rapes is in USA.According to a FBI report, in the year 1990, every day on an average 1756 cases of rape were committed in U.S.A alone. Later another report said that on an average everyday 1900 cases of rapes are committed in USA. The year was not mentioned. May be it was 1992 or 1993.In most cases either the both rapist and victim are drunk or the rapist is drunk.Drinking, Boy friend gird friend relationships, disbelief in religion are the causes of these kinds of problems.
ALHAMDOLLAH in our society these things are very rare.You people live in AC rooms, Drive in AC cars, Study in expensive school no matter what the problems our society have,You peoples are impressed from western cultures and do not like to talk a kind word with the poor society they have around butin foreign they are ready to work in Burger shops.I ought to advice you that write some blog on our problems, 250000 families have been ruined by America in our western areas, write some thing about them, do not eat pizza one day and give it to charity, If you really want to do some thing for peoplesor just carry on your artificial feelings if you want to impress burger peoples"

I hope you guys have read it by now. I’m sorry that I made my readers go through this message. 1st of all, I don’t want people to agree with me, especially those who don’t understand the language. Urdu newspapers also uncover horrific stories of rape & incest on a daily basis, but one must need to read them to know what’s happening. Providing statistics of what happened in 1990 or 1992 or 1993 shows that the person doesn’t know the meaning of research. And we know how correct are statistics! These are people who become numbers.

I have been accused of not understanding. I don’t want to understand such people & their biased & set views. We don’t even want insensitive folks to be sorry about a problem much above them. What would be the use? Can we make all those victims better by such kind of utterances? No. So we don’t need it.

People can stick to their views that religion is the only solution. We want results, not assertions. The topic was on incest, not on date rape. I don’t why this person thought he could confuse us by providing details about date rapes & that too a century old. What happened in 90s is the thing of the past. What is happening in 2009 is far more important.

This person knows that incest is a rare thing in our society. Maybe he lives in every house in Pakistan. He knows what goes inside everywhere. Even superheroes can’t do that, but he! He also knows how we live. God knows how far closed minds would go on presuming. The person surely seems to be suffering from some kind of inferiority complex. Again he thinks we are impressed by the Western culture. It’s people like us who don’t take racist fart. It’s people like us who can tell them where they are wrong & they listen to us. It’s people like us who are going to change the fucked up image of Muslims. It’s certainly not people like you who presume everything without knowing or understanding anything at all.

It seems this person also knows how we talk to our servants, since he lives in every house. If you meet any of my servants or the menial stuff that worked in the offices where I worked…they would tell you what kind of a person I am. In fact, they won’t even have problem in beating the shit out of this person for obvious reason. They care about me, cause I care about them. So don’t presume & talk shit. In fact, I salute these servants, peons, maids, gardeners, cause not only they clean up the mess, they are also very sensible people. Don’t you dare drag in poor people, cause I know them more than you do.

I don’t take advice from anyone. So keep your fucking advice to yourself. Alright. And you also don’t know the difference between artificial or genuine feelings. So far as burgers and wannabes are concerned, you can lick their shoes. I don’t do any such thing. I don’t have to, cause I don’t need such people on my side.

I don’t eat pizzas everyday & those who do…God is the one who has given them the money to have anything they want. What they do with it, is their business.

‘And those who cry lies to Our signs are deaf & dumb, dwelling in the shadows. Whomsoever God will, He leads astray, & whomsoever He will, he sets him on a straight path.’

The Holy Quran

“The judgment is God’s alone. He relates the truth, and he is the Best of deciders.”

The Holy Quran

God can take care of everything. People like you who stay in a state of denial shouldn’t worry. Which reminds me of someone else who kept on saying that I must read the Quran. I think after reading my write-up on Black magic, it was clear to him as to who reads the Quran & who goes around only asking people to read it, but doesn’t have time to go through the translation & the interpretation himself.

Anyhow, one must judge the work, not the writer. I have even reported to Facebook about people making personal comments on the blog network.

Nadira Rahman

Black magic

I do find this writing to be the most challenging one, cause I strongly believe in black magic. I did mention in my other write-up that people accept few things from their holy books that they want to & leave out the ones that don’t suit them very conveniently. Needless to say, black magic somehow falls in that category.

The Holy Quran is the primary source of Islamic law & information, & sorcery has been clearly mentioned in it. Our Holy Prophet (PBUH) himself had been a victim of black magic. If black magic had to vanish in spite of the evil nature of humans, then why Surah Nas & Surah Falak are there in the Quran? I did raise this question earlier on also. I’ve also observed that although the Holy Quran is the primary source, yet people take individuals as Dr. Zakir Naik to have all the answers. I don’t want to use the word that is being employed for those people, but you know what it is. God has provided us brain cells for a reason.

Anyway, it is explicitly written in the Holy Quran:

‘God is sufficient for us; an excellent Guardian is He.’

‘To God belong the East & the West; He guides whomsoever He will to a straight path.’

‘So fear not men, but fear you Me; & sell not my signs for a little price.’

Black magic is the kind of practice that could play havocs with anyone’s life. It mutilates & tramples your soul. Not scars, but bruises haunt you day & night. Such is the effect of black magic. It can kill & mostly, victims commit suicide. You are never the same, if you have been a victim of black art & somehow you survived it. Those who believe in it are mostly: the ones who have been victims; the ones who have been the practitioners; the ones who have asked to cast those spells; & yes, they are people who believe in it, cause it has been mentioned in the Quran.

The worst form of black magic is 'sifli amal,' which involves not just the use of diverse bodily secretions but, also, is often utilized to harm others. Now I will tell you evil is black magic & what it does to the victim. Alright. So when & how do you get to know it’s black magic? These are some of the initial stages:

Your sleep is disturbed; fatigue and lack of energy to live day-to-day life; you have Fear; disinterest in life; hopelessness; you are irritated for no reason; you get angry for no reason; severe Depression; dryness of mouth at night; increased thirst; obesity in some cases; Sudden Chills and Goose Bumps; tightness around body parts; You start forgetting things in the spur of the moment and experience memory loss; Your access to the dream world is blocked: No remembrance of dreams when you wake up; Your professional career suffers; Irrational behaviour of people towards you; Blockages in the inflow of money.

This is how the story starts & it worsens. In some cases, people imagine that they are madly in love with someone. Complexion darkens…you dream of dirty places…you have constant headaches…sudden change in behaviour without any obvious reason…frequent miscarriage for pregnant women…Thinking or imagining that one has done something whereas in reality one has not. In case serious black magic is being done to kill you…You will notice that Crows will cross your path from left to right while traveling or they would crossover from left to right, flying right above you, at times they would have a piece of flesh or some other solid matter in their beaks. As I mentioned earlier on the victim also becomes suicidal; thoughts of suicide or harming himself is always on victim’s mind.

I read this, which I think everyone ought to know:

“The clothes, hair, nails and picture are used to make a doll that resembles the victim; the heart area of the doll is kept open for the final ritual. A ritual is performed and a heart is pulled out from a live animal’s body while it is vibrating and placed into the heart area of the doll, at this point the doll is infused with life connecting the doll with the victim with an invisible psychic chord. Once the doll and the victim are connected, 2-3 inch needles are pushed in the doll at specific acupuncture points to break the energy system of the victim. As the pins are pushed into the doll the victim feels as if a needle is being pierced into his body. The victim can be sitting thousands of miles away and will experience the attacks instantaneously. If the victim was made to eat or drink food and/or water that consists of "Masaan" (Ash of the Dead) infused with negatively charged energy by the black magician, the effects are life threatening and gives unlimited control over the victims Mind & Body. The prime focus of the black magician is to destroy the immune system of their victim.”

I also came across some mind-boggling stories. People are ready to cast spells even on their boyfriends & husbands.

“Shakila, 26, who had been involved with her neighbour, Hassan for almost five years. Hassan seemed devoted, but reluctant to take the marital plunge. Shakila tried everything in her power to convince Hassan to make the commitment, particularly since her parents were getting increasingly desperate to "see her settled," fearing she would soon be over the hill. But Hassan would not yield. To the rescue came Shakila's maid, who introduced her to black magic through Amil Rehmat Shah in North Nazimabad.

Shakila proved a willing student of the black arts and within 21 days of beginning the rituals, Hassan and Shakila were engaged. "I was petrified about what the consequences of my actions might be, but I had no choice - I was desperate. I was really apprehensive about giving baba jee my menstrual blood and saliva to make the 'spell' successful, but after he convinced me there would be positive results, I agreed," says Shakila. Shakila paid Amil Rehmat Shah almost 10 thousand rupees for his services, and has now been married three years. She says, for her, the money and effort was worth it, and would now not hesitate to resort to black magic again if the need arose.”

This is another horror story:

“The worst consequence of black magic, however, perhaps is what befell Nadeem and Amna. Amna had solicited the services of an amil to cast a spell on her husband, Nadeem, three years earlier, so that he would ditch his girlfriend, with whom he had been having a long-standing affair. The spell was complex as the amil suspected that Nadeem's extra-marital relationship was based not on mere infatuation but love. Amna was, however, willing to go to any lengths to get Nadeem back. The spell was cast, after numerous warnings from the amil himself, who did not know what the consequences of it would be. A few days later when Nadeem and his girlfriend were in the car, they were hit by a truck. His girlfriend died on the spot, while Nadeem was permanently paralyzed. Even in this debilitated state, Nadeem still yearns for his lost love and while Amna and he share a home - and that is about the only thing they share.”

In order to cast the spell or to break the spell, many ladies visit amils in Pakistan who extract lots & lots of money from them. These amils usually sexually abuse these ladies as well. Even educated people go to these amils. In newspapers horrific stories appear on a daily basis about some amil raping the girl as he held the girl over the weekend to break the black magic.

This is another story of evil nature:

"The body of a five-year-old boy was found in eastern Pakistan today, just weeks after police said serial killers had killed four children to use their blood for black magic. The latest death sparked panic in Muridke, a town about 30km northwest of Lahore, although police official Ali Javed said it was premature to say whether the murder was linked to the serial killings. Weeks after the April-May killings, police arrested two men, accusing them of slitting the throats of the children and collecting their blood for black magic rites. The throat of the latest victim was also cut, Mr Javed said."

I also searched for the cure of black magic.

Scholars mention that the recitation of the Mu’awwazatayn (the two Quls: al-Falaq and al-Nas) is very beneficial in the removing of and protection from black magic.There are many virtues of these two Surahs mentioned in the Ahadith. Also, the consuming of Ajwa dates has been prescribed by the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) as a remedy for black magic.

This is a cure for all kinds of black magic & white magic:

The following prayer is for curing all kinds of magic spells, whether it is black magic, or white magic or any other colour magic! Either the person inflicted by the magic spell can read this (which is more beneficial) or if the person is not well, then someone else can read on behalf of the person who is unwell. First of all, keep a glass of water near you. After reading the following blow your breath THREE TIMES on the water in the glass and drink the water (if you are reading for yourself) or give the glass of water to the inflicted person to drink. The spell will be broken.

1. Read any Salawat/Daroodof your choice 11 times.
2. Read the following:
Bismillah Hir Rahman Nir Raheem 487 times.
(In The Name Of Allah, The Compassionate, The Merciful)
3. Read again Salawat/Darood of your choice 11 times.
4. Blow 3 breaths on the water in the glass.

The Holy Quran says:

‘Every event ordained by Allah will come to pass, so seek not to hasten it’

I believe there ought to be a solution for this, but of course there are cases in which victims die or become more like corpses even when they are alive. Victims loose hopes when they don’t get married or find jobs. They have no peace of mind…whatever they do, it’s a total disaster. Life is hell on earth for the victims.

I know exactly what I’m talking about. And I say this is God’s way of testing humans, cause I don’t think Satan or evil humans can harm you, unless & until God wants to test you. He only tests his chosen people, not everyone. This is what I think. There is a saying which goes something like this, adversity introduces a man to himself & there is another one which says, what does not destroy me, makes me strong.
Even in Surah Taha, it is written:

‘Fear not; surely thou art the uppermost. Cast down what is in thy right hand, & it shall swallow what they have fashioned; for they have fashioned only the guile of a sorcerer, & the sorcerer prospers not, wherever he goes.’

‘O believers, look after your own souls. He who is astray cannot hurt you, if you are rightly guided.’

The Holy Quran

Nadira Rahman

What is the meaning of this silence?

“I find mankind so odious that I should hate to have it approve of me.”
- Moliere

“We are willing to believe anything other than the truth.”
- Carlos

Nothing actually puts me in a state of shock, but right now when I’m doing my research on the cases of incest…I’m aghast at humans who keep mum about this issue. I don’t expect much of humans, cause I know they are cowards. However, I also want to know why is God silent?

In my last write up, one of my readers raised this point on the kids of Adam & Eve. We all know that Adam & Eve were not siblings. Fine. Nevertheless, their kids were & we may not like to say it, but procreation did take place. So what do we call that? A friend of mine said that religion came much later & ever since incest has been forbidden. Congratulations! We have solved the case for you.

“The only universal trait that Contemporary social scientists and historians agree has been found in every known culture is the prohibition of incest.”

You don’t fuck around with the infinite, because you can’t. However, fucking humans & kids is something that can be done. What I mean is fucking them forcefully. That is, when you have power over the other person. I think family is a place where one should feel protected, but if kids are being abused by their loved ones…it’s a little too much to take. Scars of such wounds can never heal. Scars of even little wounds don’t heal & I guess all of us know that. So, what about the victims of this heinous & ugly crime?

I read something that I would very much like to share.

“Boys as well as girls are reported as being masturbated and raped by the men in the family, including fathers, older brothers, uncles and cousins. By the time children are four or five, they are usually taken to bed at night by others in the extended household. "A particular uncle may like her to sleep in his room, which is considered a great gesture of closeness." As one girl describes it: "I hardly ever slept with my parents after I was four. I rotated almost every night between my various uncles and sometimes my grandmother. But it was difficult to have any space in her bed, because all the grandsons slept in her bed.. So I preferred to sleep in [uncle's] bed, who was very nice and put his arms around me in winter."

I seriously had the urge to puke. I mean what the hell is this? Who puts up with this obnoxious behaviour? But the fact is…people do & that is saddening, to say the least. And don’t ask me in which country, this thing has happened. It happens everywhere. It’s another thing that people want to stay in a state of denial. It suits them so much.

It’s another case of a female who has been raped 1st by her elder brother & then by her father…not once, but for many years.

“A case is reported of a female victim of paternal incest, who had also been raped repeatedly by her elder brother for two years. A survey of the literature showed no other report of such a case from Turkey. This does not necessarily mean that the incidence of paternal and sibling incest does not happen, but may indicate that incestuous abuse is not reported or handled without making it known to legal authorities.

The victim was first raped by her 16 year-old brother when she was 9 years old. He raped her repeatedly over a period of two years, until he left home. Her father began raping the victim when she was 13 year-old, leaving her pregnant at age 15. He took her to a doctor for a termination of pregnancy. The father continued abuse after the termination. The victim left home to marry a man. The father filed a lawsuit against the man for taking the victim away from home.”

1st they commit a sin & a blatant violence against any human & then they have the audacity to file suit against the victim. You must have heard about the Cellar incest case. An Austrian woman was kept prisoner & abused by her own father for 24 years in a basement.
“Her 73-year-old father, Josef confessed that he held his now 42-year-old daughter captive for 24 years in a concealed, windowless basement hideout, where he repeatedly had sexual intercourse with her and where she gave birth to seven of his children.”
There are many families who might not be aware that someone is being sexually abused & there are also families who are aware of it, & yet they are embarrassed to seek help, so they stay silent. Fathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers could be the one abusing the child, but mothers also play a vital role by hiding this under the carpet.

“Incest has become the norm in certain homes. Siblings, who are in mutual agreement, are indulging in sexual activities."

This case is also one of its kind:

“The father of the well-respected family was a priest at the local church. He had two sons and two daughters. The father refused to send his daughters to school, instead insisting on educating them at his office attached to the church. The two older sons were allowed to go to school, but their father instructed them to have sexual intercourse with the daughter every afternoon. If they did not do so, he beat them and called them sissies. The father also sexually abused his youngest daughter in the park every day. The mother did not accept that her husband was capable of such behaviour. Charges were laid, but were withdrawn by the mother. The children were removed from the parents into foster care.”

Another question that pops up is whether abortion justifiable in cases of rape or incest. I don’t know the answer myself. Some say it is & some say that those children could be the answer for all those childless parents. But I read about this case of a girl who was repeated raped by her father whenever he wanted or lusted. What a bastard for a father! Anyway, it all started when she was 15 year old. By the time, when she was 19, she got pregnant. At the hospital, her father called her all sorts of names for getting pregnant. This girl didn’t want to have an abortion, but she was forced to have one. This is what she said:

“I was told that an abortion would solve my problem, when it was never really the problem in the first place.
I was told, "Your parents know what's best," when they obviously were only concerned about their own reputations.
I was told, "You make the right decision," when I was never given a choice. More importantly, where was my baby's choice?
I was violated and betrayed over and over by my father, who God created to love and protect me. I was humiliated, hurt, and yes, violated again by the abortionist.”
Naturally, I don’t see any solution to this problem. Even if we form better laws, would people come & seek help? I don’t think so. People are more concerned about their reputation. We’ve heard this crap for centuries: ‘Larki ghar ki izzat hai.’ But the fact is nobody has time to respect that girl.

Many a time, I’ve read that most abusers are the ones who have been molested in their childhood. I don’t see the justification. Just because you have been abused doesn’t give you the right to abuse others. But we all know that innocence is being murdered on a daily basis.

Jodi Picoult very aptly said:
“Silence is just a quieter way to lie.”

I don’t know how incestuous is incest. But I don’t need to see it written in my Holy Book or on the statute book to know a thing is wrong. Rape is wrong no matter from what fucking angle you look at it. A thing that destroys life cannot be great. A thing that leaves scars for eternity cannot be tolerated. And yes where is God when this happens to anyone, be it a kid or an adult? Why is He silent? Humans can stay silent. They are despicable, to the core. That’s the best they can do.
Anyhow, we were just discussing incest. It’s a common thing that children are also being molested by servants, which include both men & women. Servants have also been involved in sexual harassment of adults. Even then people maintain silence. I’ve read that 9 month old girl was repeatedly rape. Girls & boys of 5 & 6 years of age are being raped & killed. Women in our country have been gang-raped & that was the decision of some fucking panchayat (parallel justice system).

It seems humans are fond of silence when others around them are being sexually & emotionally abused. Abuse of any kind has a bad effect on the person. Many a time, you abuse a person with your words. That is called psychological abuse. So in a way, all those who are using evil & degenerated words to hurt others also rape. And all those who put up with any kind of abuse…I just want to say one thing to you…I don’t know if you can grasp it or not. And it may seem ruthless, cause I don’t exactly know the pain of victims. I’m mad, cause I know people who have suffered & they haven’t recovered as yet. Anyway, your silence is your crime. Whatever you choose today make sure you don’t have to regret it tomorrow. I hope God comes to the aid of all those who are waiting for Him.

Nadira Rahman

You just can’t see through every wall & you just can’t

This has been one of my very controversial writings. I’ve tried to touch some sensitive issues with an open mind. Before I start off my discussion, I want to tell a short story.

One day a pastor went walking in the country & saw a cow looking over the wall. As he stood looking at the cow, he was approached by a member of his church who asked him, ‘Is something wrong, pastor?’
He replied, ‘Well, I’m having troubles.’
The farmer said, ‘Pastor, look at the cow. What’s the cow doing?’
‘She’s looking over the wall.’
The farmer said, ‘Why do you think she’s looking over the wall.’
‘Oh, I don’t know.’
‘She’s looking over the wall because she can’t see through it.’

Moral: There are lots of problems that can’t be solved.

I guess we all have come against some walls that we couldn’t see through. When solutions don’t exist or can’t be found for whatever reason, what should be done? Since life goes on, just like any practical person, we shouldn’t give a shit to it. That’s going to be quite a convenient choice, but there is one problem: it may prick your conscience, if it’s still intact. Naturally I need to talk on it.

I scribbled this passage of Bertrand Russell in one of my writings & I had been lynched by my best people.

“Suppose atomic bombs had reduced the population of the world to one brother & sister; should they let the human race die out? I do not know the answer, but I do not think it can be in the affirmative merely on the ground that incest is wicked.”

It’s the job of philosophers & writers to raise questions, but that doesn’t mean common man shouldn’t use his brain cells at all. I don’t know if human race has all the answers, but questions must be raised. Bertrand Russell is one of my mentors & when people label him as some sick philosopher, I don’t like it. These are the same people who sit back in their houses when they hear cases of incest & rape. Do they think that women & children gain something by creating such awful myths about themselves? Are they attention- seekers or what? Do they get some sort of happiness by besmearing their own life?

In one of the schools in Pakistan, male prostitution was carried on by teachers for 20 years & 20 years is a pretty long time. Students were molested, blackmailed & then they were prostituted. When the case came out in the newspapers, there were people saying that teachers couldn’t be involved in this filthy act. How very convenient!

I read somewhere:

“The most frequently reported type of incest is father-daughter incest. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is considered a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma, a trauma that often does serious and long-term psychological damage, especially in the case of parental incest.”

We have convenient answers in our society. Women can’t molest a child. Fathers, uncles, aunties & grandparents can’t molest a child. How can they? We just can’t. That’s what we tell ourselves, cause we like to deceive ourselves. So, my question is: who does this? Ghoulish, morbid, scary creatures from hell! Oh yes Mr. Satan is responsible for every evil. But what about humans? What role do they play? They are only victims. Then who is the culprit?

I also read this piece in which this woman says that she kind of loved this incestuous relationship with her brother for years & she also says there is a difference between abuse & consensual incest. She thoroughly enjoyed it for years & so did her brother. Now I’m not saying that she is right or wrong. I just want to highlight the point that only she could have made: there is a difference between abuse & consensual incest.

The other thing that I want to talk about is black magic. In case if you are too ignorant as to what is black magic, let me tell you one of the definitions that would make it easier for you to understand:

“Black magic would be invoked to kill, to steal, to injure, to cause misfortune or destruction, or for personal gain without regard to harmful consequences to others.”

So, it’s a kind of harmful sorcery associated with the worship of Satan. But who does that worship? Someone who is more inclined to settled quarrels by resorting to such means. I’ve heard that in this century (in which we are very, very modern), people cannot practice black magic. Doctors will immediately give you the answer that it is some kind of disease. Alright. If spells aren’t being cast on anyone, then why do we have Surah Falak & Surah Naz in the Holy Quran? There ought to be a reason, I suppose. Or maybe we accept one thing that suits us & discards another that doesn’t.

Bertrand Russell very beautifully said:

“As soon as we abandon our own reason, and are content to rely upon authority, there is no end to our trouble. Whose authority? The Old Testament? The New Testament? The Koran? In practice, people choose the book considered sacred by the community in which they are born, and out of that book they choose the parts they like, ignoring the others.”

Surah Falak:

Say ‘I take refuge with the Lord of the Daybreak
From the evil of what He has created,
From the evil of darkness when it gathers,
From the evil of women who blow on knots,
From the evil of an envier when he envies.’

Envy can drive one jealous being to any extent. Don’t people murder & throw acid? Don’t people rape & gang-raped? People can stoop down to any level. People go beyond the boundaries, when they want to hurt others. People become damn creative when they inflict pain on others. When people want others to suffer, nothing stands in their way.

It is also very clearly written in Surah Taha:

‘Fear not; surely thou art the uppermost. Cast down what is in thy right hand, & it shall swallow what they have fashioned; for they have fashioned only the guile of a sorcerer, & the sorcerer prospers not, wherever he goes.’

We don’t believe a person who says he’s a victim of black magic, because black magic is something ancient. It cannot happen now. Science has an answer & no, we have no time to think about possibilities with an open mind.

Henrik Ibsen said, ‘I think we are sailing with a corpse in the cargo.’

Human mind hasn’t progressed & if you think, it has, then you’re surely mistaken. Forget about going beyond the passages of Mr. Russell, people don’t even see what’s in front of them. They just want convenient answers & they grab them & go on. That’s why they don’t live; they only exist & occupy space. I’m sure that too is convenient.

The 3rd issue that I want to talk about is that of sluts. How they are being treated in this society! Now we don’t know how does a woman land in that gutter, but we call her foul names. Can all those people who call them names provide them respect in the society? No, they wouldn’t dream of it. In fact the word ‘slut’ is taken as an abuse. I will again quote my favourite philosopher, Bertrand Russell:

“The prostitute has the advantage, not only that she is available at a moment's notice, but that, having no life outside her profession, she can remain hidden without difficulty, and the man who has been with her can return to his wife, his family, and his church with unimpaired dignity. She, however, poor woman, in spite of the undoubted service she performs, in spite of the fact that she safeguards the virtues of wives and daughters and the apparent virtue of church-wardens, is universally despised, thought to be an outcast, and not allowed to associate with ordinary people except in the way of business.”

The issues that I have discussed today are mind-boggling & thought provoking. Please go beyond what I’ve written. Possibility is always there. These are walls that we can’t see through. We don’t have solutions. It has been quite a sensitive write-up. And I have been scared that I won’t do justice to it. I’ve said what I wanted to say. In the process, if I have hurt the sentiments of anyone, I’m sorry. I really am, but I can’t stay quiet like everyone else.

Nadira Rahman

And Little Did We Know!

I don't see why it's so difficult to understand

One needs some space to stand

It gets on to my nerves

No matter what you do nothing really serves

Counting hours, counting days

Pleasing sick dogs and finding ways

Every minute is so cheap

Can't even breathe

Life aint supposed to be

Like a sad teary sea

Big was the vision

And tricky is the division

Will and views

Found all the clues

Timing is all that is left

No more shit and no more theft

The dogs may bark and the madness they spread

But there shall be an end to this thread

Every dog has his day

As the great may say

Whatever you do

Will ultimately come back to you

No purpose, No meaning

Bits and pieces, All so sickening

And little did we know

It was only a fucked up show!

- Zaira

The story of Florence Nightingale

You’ve heard of Florence Nightingale. But did you know that she was born to wealth & socially prominence in London, England? This brilliant young girl from a socially prominent, wealthy family wrote in her diary in 1851 at the age of thirty-one, “I see nothing that I desire today, other than death.” She came close to burning out. But she renewed herself. How? She reviewed her life. Money, social position didn’t do anything for her. Then she examined the possibilities. If only she could help people. She wanted to be a nurse. Her mother & father said that such a status was beneath their dignity. But she named the price. She was willing to be ostracized by her parents & society. She elected to be a nurse.

Her mother wrote, “We are two ducks, my husband & I, & we’ve given birth to a wild swan.” But Florence Nightingale’s biographer said, “The mother was so wrong, for Florence was not a wild swan but an eagle.” The Crimean War broke out. Florence chose to go. “Possessed by demons,” her family said. “Victim of a nervous breakdown.” She was ostracized, criticized, considered insane. But for three years she waited & worked among the dying men, their blood, their amputated legs. She came home after three years later in 1859, & she wrote & published notes on how hospitals should be operated. And she changed hospitals.

I read this story for the time in the book ‘Tough times never last but tough people do’ by Robert H. Schuller. He tells you about positive thinking in a way that he can convince almost anyone. Sadly, I’ve noticed that if someone happens to be different in a family…instead of accepting that individual, family members themselves create innumerable problems.

And if anyone happens to be different, the world also labels him/her as eccentric. Now eccentric cannot be the right word. One may not follow conventions, but that doesn’t make the person eccentric. Following the norms & doing the stuff that everyone does can be so annoying. In fact, more than annoying, it’s not even possible to accommodate, in the 1st place. Just because billions of people are comfortable with a thing or idea…it doesn’t mean everyone on this planet could follow it blindly.

So from the example of Florence Nightingale, one thing is evident – the world is still rotten even though it’s 2009. We haven’t come a long way. We are still there. And that is bad news. People are still being ostracized & treated badly for being different, as if it’s a crime! Whereas the same people are shit scared if a real criminal is in the vicinity…That’s how brave they all are.


Nadira Rahman

The Disciple

When Narcissus died, the flowers of the field asked the river for some drops of water to weep for him.

‘Oh!’ answered the river, ‘if all my drops of water were tears, I should not have enough to weep for Narcissus myself. I loved him!’

‘Oh!’ replied the flowers of the field, ‘how could you not have loved Narcissus? He was beautiful.’

‘Was he beautiful?’ said the river.

‘And who could know better than you? Each day leaning over your bank, he beheld his beauty in your water…’

‘If I loved him,’ replied the river, ‘it was because when he leaned over my water, I saw the reflection of my waters in his eyes.’

That’s called the Disciple.


Well I read this story a couple of years ago & I was quite fascinated even then. But this is not the reason why I have shared the story with you guys today. I don’t want to talk about the story, but I want to talk about the personality disorder - Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

Anyway before I talk about the disorder…I want to tell a little about Narcissus. In Greek mythology, Narcissus was an extremely beautiful man who rejected all his admirers. One of his greatest admirers was the beautiful nymph Echo. As is obvious, he fell in love with his reflection in a pool. He was finally transformed into the flower that bears his name. From this legend comes the term narcissism & it means exclusive love of self.

People often confuse self-love with narcissism, but there's a big difference between the two. The narcissist actually loves his image which he projects on others; he also suffers from low self-esteem. Some theories suggest that he wants to love whereas those who truly love and accept themselves can love others unconditionally and it's not so with the narcissist. This disorder is closely linked with self-centeredness.

Basically narcissism is defined as a pattern of traits & behaviors that signify obsession with one’s self to the exclusion of all others, & the egoistic & ruthless pursuit of one’s gratification, dominance & ambition. It has been said that it is mostly due to childhood abuse & trauma. It is also said that it’s quite difficult to recognize a narcissist as he/she is all the time acting & thereby projects a false image. Of course these people need help, but they rarely get diagnosed, cause they don’t go to a shrink as such.

I read somewhere that ‘the fable of Narcissus is essentially a warning about the dangers of vanity, and of always considering one’s self before others. There is a little bit of Narcissus in all of us. And if left unchecked, it can ruin us.’

Yeah it may seem weird but isn’t it amazing that someone could actually worship himself? I met this woman & she claimed that she loved herself in spite of all her faults. She specifically mentioned that she paid all her bills. Naturally who else would do that? Oh no I didn’t say that! How could I? I have manners & she wanted to deceive herself & me. Anyway then she narrated a couple of things that she did (that no one else could have done for her) & again she came back to her obsession or whatever it was. In my opinion, she wasn’t a real narcissist. She was posing to be one. And most probably, she didn’t know that it was a personality disorder. She really liked saying that she loved herself. If she was so much in love with herself, what was the need to say it aloud? This is just one example. I’m sure you all must have met characters.

About the disciple, I guess I don’t need to say anything or the charm would be lost.

Nadira Rahman

The Chamber of God’s Justice

The soul of the sinner advanced stark naked before God. And God opened the book of sinner’s life:

‘Certainly your life has been very bad: You have…(followed a prodigious, marvelous enumeration of sins). Since you have done all that, I am certainly going to send you to Hell.’

‘You can not send me to Hell.’

‘And why can I not send you to Hell?’

‘Because I have lived there all my life.’

Then there was a great silence in the Chamber of God’s Justice.

‘Well, since I can not send you to Hell, I am going to send you to Heaven.’

‘You can not send me to Heaven.’

‘And why can I not send you to Heaven?’

‘Because I have never been able to imagine it.’

And there was a great silence in the Chamber of God’s Justice.

I read this story few years ago & recently I was going through some critical material & I came across it again. Naturally it’s the kind of story that makes one think of life. Life must be so cruel to people that they cannot even imagine as to what is paradise, to begin with. It hurts to read something like this:

‘And why can I not send you to Hell?’

‘Because I have lived there all my life.’


And this one makes it all the more painful:

‘And why can I not send you to Heaven?’

‘Because I have never been able to imagine it.’

No matter where you are & if it’s hell every where you go – then this is more horrific than any story I’ve ever read in the newspapers. It means you can never get rid of the brutal agony that had destroyed you once. Which also means that there cannot be any ray of hope.

If God cannot heal the pain, then who can? Does time really heal the wounds, or is it another myth? A myth that only deceives, cause scars invariably hurt.

Since this story is written by human, naturally the system of justice is just like this world. People have this habit of putting barriers in their own lives, as if the ones created by the world aren’t enough. Imagination knows no boundary & yet when anyone goes ahead, people are shocked beyond measure. It’s sad to know that someone cannot imagine what is beauty or happiness. It’s sad to know that people find something sick, cause it has been called sick or immoral for the past 100 years. It’s sad that people don’t even give themselves room for possibilities.

I don’t say life is a bitch, cause I say life is worth all the trouble. But there are cases in which people may never recover. I cannot experience each & every calamity to know that it exists, but I know for sure that people do get hurt & sometimes they never recover. Sadly, I have nothing to say to them.

- Nadira Rahman

Killing of dogs in Karachi

Dogs are being killed on a daily basis in Karachi. And guns are being used to kill them. Not just adult dogs but also puppies including new born babies are being killed ruthlessly. They just want to wipe out dogs from this city.

DHA society came up with this idea in Lahore few years ago. In posh areas, they didn’t allow dogs & the only way to stop them was to shoot them. Most of the shooters aren’t even good shooters. Many a time, the animal suffers for too long & then he dies.

I used to give food to some dogs & their puppies. This year all those dogs & their pups were being shot. I don’t expect much change in this bloody system that doesn’t know any educated way of dealing with a problem, if stray dogs & their puppies are a problem, to begin with. Well that’s how I see it - humans are the ones who are torturing & brutally killing them! These are the posh areas where the minds of humans are totally plagued. Actually these minds are far worse than the garbage sites.

There is also this myth that dog is impure. So far I haven’t read it in the translation of the Quran. But I know that Caliph Omar said that even if a dog went hungry by the banks of the Euphrates the lord of the Hosts would hold him accountable on the Day of Judgment. I also know that there was this prostitute…she came across a thirsty dog by the riverside & she filled water for him from the river & fed him. It has been said that all her sins were forgiven & this incident was narrated by none other than the Holy Prophet (PBUH). By the way, the Holy Prophet also had cats as pets. These are the things which are never being mentioned.

Coming back to those killers & the ones who came up with this bright idea – naturally I don’t think much of them & I don’t want to understand them either. These are absurd rules & what hurts me the most is that no one even files a suit against such acts. In fact, when we say that strays are being treated badly & these killings are wrong - we always hear this rotten argument “But humans are killed in the same manner & you are talking about dogs & cats.”

Well the killing of any being is wrong & that includes both humans & animals. Just because animals can’t protest, it doesn’t make their murder any less of a crime. All those people who are involved in this crime…I would say why don’t they go & kill Taliban residing in Karachi. Oh no but where these fucking Afghanis live, even the police cannot enter in that area! I don’t know if people would ever wake up. I don’t know if there’s ever going to be a change. I’ve just reached the conclusion that humans are cowards. Even those who keep mum when these killings are going on are cowards. When you allow intruders to stay in your city & to kill you & to terrorize you in the name of something that they do not know of– yes, then you are a coward!

Most of you know that we look after some cats on a small scale & we have kept them as pets & everyone who is related to us or who is a friend or who knows us by any means…he/she always has this advice – why don’t you guys get rid of these dirty cats? They are making your house dirty. You guys have to clean the shit & all. What I’ve seen is that people themselves don’t do any good & if they see anyone else doing a little bit of good work – they also have the audacity to ask that person to stop it. Now I can’t expect anything of such people. I know for sure that they can’t protest for animals, & I’m very sorry to say if ever time would come, they won’t be able to protest for themselves.

I’m extremely sorry for humans – the elevated apes. They don’t have any idea as to what is compassion. If they had any, animals wouldn’t have been murdered & tortured. Since God doesn’t guide the ungodly, so I don’t know where is the solution & I don’t know if this atrocity could ever end.

Nadira Rahman

Scarlett – the hero cat!!!

Scarlett is the hero cat that saved her 5 kittens from 1996 Brooklyn fire.

Scarlett and her five kittens were discovered by veteran firefighter David Giannelli as he battled flames in an abandoned building in Brooklyn. After the fire was put out, he saw the mother carrying her kittens one by one across the street. Although her kittens were slightly singed but she was badly burnt & she had to have meds almost on a daily basis.

In her new Brooklyn home, Scarlett was top cat. She was being adopted by a writer. Four of her five kittens survived the blaze and they were adopted in pairs. Scarlett died on Oct. 11, 2008, after battling kidney failure, a heart murmur and lymphoma.

I think she’s the example of the most beautiful mom in the world. I came to know about her story few months ago & yes this story really touched my heart. She was not just brave; she was actually a ray of light for all of us. In all these years, I’ve heard such amazing stories about animals. And all these stories point to one thing – animal are too pure; their love is pure & innocent. They can go beyond the boundaries, if they have to.

Quite frankly, I don’t have words to express myself, cause I’m more of a critic & here we are talking about the most beautiful form of love – the love of a mother.
I dedicate this writing to my mother & all the other moms.

Nadira Rahman